Blog for Self Improvement

Anger is the most difficult and challenging feeling. Anger can propel us to pursue change, or energize us in the pursuit of change. However, too often our anger is allowed to run amuck, thus creating havoc in our lives vis-à-vis the unresolved angry feelings.

Everyone has anger about issues and experiences, some more than others, occasionally, or for some frequently. When anger is left unprocessed with no outlet it morphs into resentment. Resentment carries with it the propensity of creating self-sabotage and great turmoil. When you are in resentment you assign blame for the pain you are feeling—thus easing the pain—albeit superficial and temporary. Some people relentlessly stoke the smoldering embers of resentment just below the surface of their awareness, eroding their peace of mind and causing rifts in relationships.

The target of your resentment grows ever more diabolical in your mind and you rue the day you first encountered the experience, which you perceive to be to blame. Resentment is nothing more than another hue on the emotional spectrum and therefore within the realm of our conscious control. You can choose to let go of your resentment and enjoy your experiences going forward, no matter how painful the event that instigated it.

Holding onto anger/resentment serves only to have more pain. Successfully processing the experience to let go of the anger/resentment can be difficult. Processing the anger compels us to mentally and emotionally confront the original source of anger. When we cease assigning blame, we realize that our need to hold someone or something responsible for our feelings has harmed us.

We think that assigning blame we are resolving it, but in fact we are holding onto the hurt with a fierce self-sabotaging grip. To release resentment, we need to shift our attention from those we resent back toward ourselves by thinking of our needs.

Some people find performing a ceremony helps quell resentful feelings by giving tangible form to their emotions. You may want to write down your feelings and then burn the paper and close your ceremony by wishing those who harmed you well—allowing yourself to forgive. See Forgiveness—A Misunderstood Concept.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Forgiveness-A-Misunderstood-Concept&id=334829

When you can find compassion in your heart, you are on your way to healing. Resentment free, you have more energy and attention to devote to your life and work. You can fill the spaces the anger/resentment occupied with unconditional acceptance and joy. As a result of your freedom from resentment, blessings can enter your life.

It is usually fairly easy to access a past event, for some, it is quite difficult to allow oneself to feel and express the various emotions which were originally felt and suppressed because to feel the feelings without adequate process is too painful. Unfortunately, processing events with loaded emotions is seldom done adequately. And yet, even now, unless this is done, healing will only become a partial achievement without a complete resolution of the issues involved—with continued negative impact consciously and unconsciously.

With the benefit of hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) these five aspects of Ego programming can be eliminated. Once the Ego program is eliminated at the core, you can keep your ego balanced in all five aspects by keeping your energy and focus on; who you truly are.

Hypnosis is a dynamic and vital healing process embracing all aspects health care. Hypnosis is client-centered with its focus on the discovery of the origin of a person’s issues. Through the process of hypnosis/regression the unconscious mind goes to the original cause, which then gives the person and practitioner the opportunity to process the original feelings surrounding the original experience/cause. These surrounding feelings can be healed, thus empowering the person to live the life they want to live.

This study confirms—Hypnosis is more effective and works more quickly than traditional talk-therapy or psychoanalysis. In a hypnotic state, you are more receptive to new ideas and you can more effectively process the emotions linked to the experiences, which created pain, fear, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, humiliation and low self-esteem.

Through Hypnosis you connect with your subconscious mind, which puts YOU in control of your subconscious mind—the most powerful and empowering aspect of your brain.

American Health Magazine reported these findings from a comparison study.

• Psychoanalysis: Creates a 38% recovery after 600 sessions

• Behavior Therapy: Creates a 72% recovery after 22 sessions

• Hypnosis: Creates a 93% recovery after 6 sessions

NLP uses a set of strategies, axioms and beliefs about human communication, perception and subjective experience. The core principle is that an individual's thoughts, gestures and words interact to create your perception of the world. By changing your outlook, using a variety of techniques, a person can improve their attitudes and behavior.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings.

http://www.drdorothy.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

What is anger?

Before we talk about anger management skills, we first need to talk about anger as an emotion. Anger is a normal feeling that everyone experiences. Anger can range from slight annoyance to fits of fury. Some feel anger every day, while others may only encounter it when pushed to the “breaking point.”

Anger can be caused by both internal and external events, and it can affect us both physiologically and biologically. Anger often arrives with very little notice, and can leave us with feelings of exhaustion, depression and regret. To release anger effectively, we must employ positive anger management skills.

Where can I find help with effective anger release?

Anger is a healthy emotion. Each of us must find personal ways to experience and express it. That is what anger management skills are all about.

Finding an effective anger release is not always easy, and as you might suspect, what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. Some people bottle up their anger until it explodes, while others regularly take out their anger on family and friends. Neither are effective anger release methods. But there are healthy and constructive ways you can release your anger. Dr. Brandt can help you learn the best anger management skills for you.

Which effective anger release method will work best for me?

There is no one particular anger management strategy that is guaranteed to work for you. The best way to find your most effective anger release method is try several various strategies. Effective anger release is a journey—you may find along the way that you’ve discovered an anger management skill that no one has thought of or used yet. If you do, we encourage you to share your positive experiences with others here at The Anger Zone.

Does effective anger release mean eliminating anger from my life?

No. Anger is a normal and healthy emotion. It is the way you choose to deal with anger that can negatively or positively affect your life. Anger management skills have been developed to help people deal with anger constructively. If you find yourself struggling to find effective anger release, it may be a good idea to seek professional counseling, either in an anger management group or workshop or individually.

Take control of your anger before it takes control of you.

About the Author: Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist in Santa Monica, CA for over thirty years, specializes in relationships, challenges related to blended families, divorce, abuse, women's issues and the mind-body spirit connection.

Dr. Brandt offers a fresh approach to dealing with anger and other feelings. Through her individual sessions, workshops and anger management audiotape and CD she helps people use their anger and deeper emotions to strengthen their relationships and navigate more successfully through life.

Source: http://www.easyarticles.com

All of us get angry. Some of us get angry very often. Some are able to control the anger. Some of us express our anger freely, whereas some suppress it. Why do we get angry? Is there any way to control the anger? How to do that?

We get angry when we are stopped doing something. Or when we don't get our way. We get angry when our desires are not fulfilled, or when people don't agree to our viewpoint. Many times we get angry when we find our views at great variance with others and are not able to understand the other viewpoint and disagree with that.

List your friends. Think about a situation and imagine the reactions. For example, let us say that the situation is this - your friend is sitting in a restaurant and someone spills something hot on his/her hands unintentionally. Now imagine the reactions from your list. You will write reactions that will vary greatly. You will imagine a friend of yours laughing it off and another friend calling the manager and making a big scene. The reactions are different because they are controlling their anger differently. How?

Some of us never take things very seriously. So they don't get angry over small things at all. That is the nature of these people. Can we use any techniques to control anger? Let us examine. Do you react immediately, or think about what went wrong before reacting? Those of us who react spontaneously, get angry fast. Those who think about it before reacting are able to understand and control their emotions better. Why not count up to ten before reacting?

Understanding others viewpoint helps in many situations. As we have our viewpoint, so do others. Why try to enforce our thoughts on them? Why not at least try and understand what they think and why? If your boss is angry with you, you need not react immediately. Give some time and think about all the possible reasons and you may find the answer to his anger. If at the end you realize that his/her anger was totally unjustified, you chose to forgive and not react angrily.

Emotions such as anger can be controlled. It needs reflection. It needs practice to exercise restraint. By winning over your anger you will become a better person. Make your anger your slave and not get enslaved by it.

Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com

About the Author:

The author, C.D.Mohatta writes on inspiration, management, romance, holidays etc. His writings can be found in free screensavers. These screensavers are available for free download in topics of nature, holidays, motivational, religion etc. The author also writes for online greeting cards and romantic ecards.

Experiencing uncontrolled anger is dangerous to your health. It causes your adrenaline and blood pressure to rise up at above normal levels. Moreover, you could end up hurting someone or doing something that you will regret later on. You see the results destructive anger every day on the news.

Also, uncontrolled anger destroys relationships. I use the word uncontrolled deliberately. everyone gets angry, but what we do with our anger is the heart of the issue.

Here are 8 tips to help you be the one in control of yourself, and not anger.

1) Learn to relax.

Calm yourself down. Take a deep breath. As you exhale, imagine all those bottled-up fury come out of your nose and mouth. Release it and be FRE*E. Repeat this step over and over until you feel peace inside.

Then visualize being in a place where you feel most happy, calm, and relaxed. It may be a place like a beach, garden, scenic locations, or anywhere else you might think of. Just imagine being there and inhaling the essence of your serene environment. By doing this, you will not find it hard to attain inner peace.

2) Pour out your anger in safe outlets.

You had a big quarrel with your former friend. He betrayed your trust. You want vengeance and you're raving mad. Hold it. Restrain yourself.

Try your best to get away from him as far as you can. You don't want to hurt anyone. Anger can possess your brain into doing something that you wouldn't dare do before.

How do you then release your anger if you can't restrict it anymore?

Buy a punching bag, and then pour out all your rage in it. Punch it, not out of control punches, but deliberate controlled punches. Don’t imagine the punching bag as your enemy.

But, you do want to release stress. When you're done, you will feel a sense of satisfaction. You may even punch and kick through thin air if you desire.

Talk to someone. It helps! Perhaps a counselor, friend, or minister. You will even find that self-talk helps as well.

3) Forgive and forget.

Nothing could ease your mental and emotional pains better than by forgiving someone that has hurt you in the past. It is very unhealthy to burden yourself with unnecessary torture brought about by unpleasant memories of other people's demeaning acts.

Moreover, if they have taken something important away from you, would it make sense to also sacrifice your health and lifestyle? Of course not!

4) Exercise.

Engaging in exercises increases your endorphins. Your angry mood could miraculously change to a happy one if you get involved in exercises that you enjoy doing.

Exercise gives you an opportunity to think things through, as well. Walking, especially, will give you an opportunity to think and perhaps put things in a better frame work.

5) Have a circle of friends to share your hurts.

Do you feel relieved when you voice out all your problems to close friends and relatives? That's the power of voicing out your inner feelings. Always have someone to talk to when you're down, when you're depressed, when you're mad, or in any other occasion when you feel you have to get the hurt out of your chest.

6) Listen to soothing music.

It calms your soul. A 20 minute session of listening to relaxing music while resting comfortably could soothe the upset spirit. Take deep breaths often. Make sure it is relaxing music. There are some choices of music that will cause you to be angry all over again.

7) Pray.

Deadly consequences arise when people could not hold back their fury. Ask for guidance that you will be able to control your temper. Prayers bring inner peace to those who ask for it.

8) Stay away from angry people.

The ancient writers warn not to hang around angry people because it would cause you to become angry. I had a close friend that was always exploding about everything.

Therefore, I broke off our friendship so that I would not catch the angry spirit. I lost a friendship, but protected myself from a destructive spirit.

Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com

About the Author:
Dr. John E. Neyman, Jr. is a Pastor, Author, and Relationship coach. You may contact him at drjohnneyman@gmail.com or visit his website at LeadersExcel.com