Blog for Self Improvement

The Fear of Change has many negative consequences on one's life. These include all of the following:

1. Perpetuates unfulfilling relationships,

2. Enslaves one in endless self destructive habits,

3. Suffocates one's creative potential,

4. Leaves one feeling helpless to the whims and expectations of others,

5. Keeps one imprisoned in work that tortures the heart and the soul,

6. Stifles one's passion for life,

7. Leads to frustration, hopelessness and depression, and last but not least,

8. Leads one to give up on life itself.

Interestingly however how many times have you heard yourself or others say something like, the fear of change protects me from the unknown and thereby keeps me safe and secure? Well if this were true then it would follow that if you are carrying something "on board" that is protecting you in this way, you should not only feel free to try out new things, situations, behaviors, etc but that this would ultimately make you feel confident, carefree and able to fully expand your life in any way you desired.

This however isn't the case is it? If it was, you wouldn't have been drawn to this article because it would have absolutely no relevance for you, would it? The fact that you are reading this suggests that you already know that the fear of change is destroying your life. You are probably also becoming aware that the "rationalizations" (see the previous paragraph) you have been buying into do not in any way support the truth about what the fear of change is doing to your life.

There is now a new process called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) which can help you become free of the fear of change once and for all. Yes, you read that correctly! If you want such an experience then please visit the web link below.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called "Spirituality And Science" (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Business URL #1: http://www.telecoaching4u.com
Personal URL:
http://www.telecoaching4u.com/Spirituality_And_Science.htm

There are people who suffer from a fear of embarrassment. This fear can develop into an intense and unwarranted terror or agoraphobia. Agoraphobia was named after a Greek market and it literally translates to mean a fear of being exposed to a situation or situation publicly where embarrassment can occur. With some agoraphobics this can extend to include anxiety attacks. However, not all agoraphobics hide away in their homes and avoid any risk of embarrassment. Some are able to fend quite well in places where they are able to control the situation.

It has been shown scientifically that the majority of agoraphobics are women, though some men can suffer it too. It has been estimated by researchers that 2.7 to 5.7% of the population suffers from some level of agoraphobia. In fact, agoraphobia can begin as young as 15 or as late as 35.

A fear of embarrassment in its extreme does appear in families, but the reasons for this have not yet been discovered by scientists. However, they all share at least one or more of the following commonalities in their fears:

• loneliness

• loss of control in varied public areas

• being in a location where escape may be tricky

• Staying at home for lengthy periods

• estrangement or detachment feelings from other people

• helplessness

• the need to be dependant on other people

• a feeling that their body is not real

• a feeling that their surroundings and environment are not real

• panic or anxiety attacks or just general anxiety

• irritability, sweaty palms, and general change in behavior

Other more physical reactions can also occur in people suffering more severe forms of the fear of embarrassment, including:

• lightheadedness or fainting

• sudden dizziness (not to be confused with the signs of a heart attack or stroke)

• extreme perspiration or sweating

• flushing of the skin

• difficulties in breathing or the sensation of breathing problems (not to be confused with an obstruction in the throat, an asthma attack or severe allergic reaction)

• pains in the chest, jaw, stomach, arms or neck (not to be confused with the signs of a possible heart attack)
• pounding heart, irregular heartbeat or heart palpitations (not to be confused with the signs of a heart attack)
• vomiting or simple nausea

• tingling, pins and needles and numbness in any body part (not to be confused with the signs of a stroke or impending heart attack)

• butterflies in the stomach, gassy abdomen or cramping

• mental confusion, disorganized or odd thoughts (not to be confused with the signs of a stroke)

• a deep terror of going completely mad

• a deep terror of dying

In the majority of cases, an agoraphobic person or someone who has an intense fear of embarrassment can relieve their symptoms by leaving the situation where the embarrassment occurred or by just simply going home.

Unfortunately, an intense fear of embarrassment can lead to anxiety or panic attacks in certain situations where the person begins to feel as if they are losing control, insecure, distant from a place of comfort, or trapped. The majority of agoraphobics are able to develop ways to combat this by simply avoiding any situation that may lead to such an attack. To understand this better, a person can suffer an anxiety or panic attack in a severe form that can continue anywhere from 10 minutes to as much as a week. So, it is no surprise that the person would want to avoid suffering this because such attacks are very disruptive to normal living.

Each person is different in the situations that can trigger their fear of embarrassment. Some people find that socializing, driving a vehicle, going to church services or other meeting places, and shopping by themselves can trigger the fear. Ultimately, the fear of embarrassment soon develops into a fear of having an anxiety or panic attack, which leads to the person’s withdrawal from normal life. This can greatly detriment their ability to socialize, have relationships with others and their ability to perform in a work situation.

A fear of embarrassment is not a mental illness, but when it develops into agoraphobia it needs to be treated by a medical professional. There have been many famous people who have suffered from this, and in some ways, every person has a situation that they prefer to avoid because of the fear of embarrassment. However, for most people, the choice is not to avoid, but to face our fears.

About The Author

Gary Miller was so scared that he actually passed out during a presentation and couldn't talk after due to numerous social anxieties. To learn more about his journey to recovery and weekly FREE Social Anxiety coping techniques, you can visit his web site at: http://www.Social-Anxiety-Cure.com

Source: http://www.articlecity.com

I have to give a presentation to the shareholders meeting next week. I am petrified of speaking in front of groups! You’ve got to help me!

As a counselor and coach specializing in phobias and stress management, I often hear pleas like this one from my clients. For many people, public speaking anxiety is very real and very debilitating. It can pose a major detriment to career advancement or to promoting your business.

One way to beat speaking anxiety is to join Toastmasters International. This non-profit organization, founded in 1924, offers a first-rate educational program for speaking and leading with confidence. Toastmasters has helped millions of people over their platform jitters. You can join the organization through a local club, where you’ll find friendly people who have “been there.” Toastmasters International has 8700 clubs in over 70 countries. If you can’t find a nearby club, Toastmasters International will help you start one in your community or corporation. For more information go to www.toastmasters.org.

Confidence alone does not make someone a good speaker. Polished speaking skills come from knowing your subject matter, preparing and organizing the material, and practicing your delivery. Toastmasters will give you a supportive atmosphere where you can put these skills to work.

For my clients, I work with them on the emotional end of things—overcoming the fear and anxiety. Drawing on professional training in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and hypnotherapy, and my own experiences as a speaker and trainer, I use a combination of coaching, relaxation training, mental rehearsal, and guided imagery to help people replace their fears with confidence and motivation. Obviously, I can’t show you all these methods in this article. However, I can give you some easy-to-follow stratagems that should make your next speech a bit easier. Here are ten things you can do to overcome your fear of public speaking.

1. Give up the belief that you have to be perfect.

Most people are afraid of public speaking because they fear the embarrassment of making mistakes in front of others. Anxiety over mistakes only makes mistakes more likely. Having anxiety could be the biggest mistake of all! Even professional speakers occasionally make mistakes. The difference is that they don’t consider mistakes major obstacles to success. The secret is to accept that mistakes are going to happen sometimes, and to develop the ability to recover from them quickly. Dr. L. Michael Hall, author of Secrets of Personal Mastery, advises, “Give yourself permission to be gloriously fallible!”

The way to recover from a mistake is to observe it dispassionately, take whatever corrective action is appropriate, regain your composure, focus on what to say next, and get on with it. Dwelling on an error and feeling bad about it only adds to your confusion. Leave the mistake behind and move forward.

You can’t please everyone in your audience. Sure—some listeners may think you are a moron for making a mistake. Some won’t even notice it. Others may admire the way you recover so easily. Some may be relieved to know you are human. Some won’t care one way or the other.

Mistakes can provide excellent feedback for improvement. Mistakes often promote single-trial learning, so it’s almost certain you will never make the same mistake twice. Ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen if I make a mistake during this speech?” Making a mistake does not carry a death sentence.

2. Visualize the outcome you want.

People who fear public speaking visualize their upcoming speaking opportunities as abysmal failures. They see themselves fumbling clumsily with notes, stammering, becoming mute, turning red, possibly crying, horrifying audiences with their stupidity, and slinking away to live out the remainder of their miserable lives in exile, reviled as a social reject. Psychologists call this method of preparation “negative anticipation.”

STOP IT! Each time you engage in this mental flagellation, shake yourself out of it. Say “STOP” loudly to yourself. Do anything to get your mind out of the failure trap. Sing, whistle, recite poetry, walk around the block, or talk to a friend. You can even make those scary images seem silly and laughable, by imagining your audience in clown costumes, or seeing your performance in fast motion.

In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, author Steven Covey tells his readers to “begin with the end in mind.” Visualize yourself giving that speech the way you want to. If you anticipate success, you are more likely to get it. Mentally rehearse that you are speaking confidently with a smooth delivery to an appreciative audience. Hear the words coming out of your mouth in a flowing cadence. See yourself with an erect posture, breathing free and easy. By visualizing this way, you are programming your mind and body for the results you want.

3. Prepare Positively

Stop worrying about yourself and get excited about your subject! You have something important to say and others want to hear about it. If you can, pick a subject you enjoy. Speak on topics you know well. Even if you are delivering dreary statistics about last year’s crop failure, put something of yourself into your speech. Include an anecdote, or a quotation. Bring in the human interest perspective. Practice and preparation are easier if your subject matter is important and/or enjoyable to you. If you think your material is interesting and meaningful, your audience will catch your enthusiasm and appreciate your sincerity.

4. Love your listeners

Once, just before I was about to speak to classroom of 70 students, a colleague asked me, “How can you be so confident will all those people judging you and finding fault with you?” Now there is a defeatist presupposition, if I ever heard one! It had never even occurred to me to think of my students in that way! “I am confident,” I answered, “because I don’t think that way. I assume my audiences are friendly. I assume they are here because they are interested in what I have to say. I love my audiences and I assume they love me.” You get back what you put out---and nowhere is this adage more true than in public speaking. If you want your audiences to like you, you have to like them first.

5. Put the past behind you---at least the ugly parts

Some people have speaking anxiety because of some humiliating incident of the past---often in childhood. Such events can be highly traumatizing for children (and not a joyride for adults, either) and can cause life-long, paralyzing fear. If such an incident is the basis of your fear, visit a therapist or counselor who specializes in phobias. Phobias are nothing to be ashamed of. Researchers estimate that 80 percent of the population has at least one in a lifetime. Contrary to popular belief, many phobias can be cured, usually in three or four therapy sessions.

Maybe your fear isn’t a true phobia, but still relates to past flops and embarrassments. Remember: All good speakers started out as not-so-good speakers. They improved because they resolved to do better the next time.

6. Get some rest and avoid hassles

Plan ahead and get a good night’s sleep before your presentation. If you have trouble falling asleep, drink some warm milk (yes, it does work), and think some pleasant, relaxing thoughts. It may help to listen to a relaxation tape or soft music, or do some light reading before going to sleep. If you can, clear your calendar of stressful events that could interfere with your ability to concentrate and speak confidently and sincerely. In other words, don’t schedule a job interview, a dentist visit, or a meeting with your ex-spouse’s lawyer on the same day you are going to deliver that all-important speech!

7. Avoid mood-altering substances

Some people mistakenly think that drinking lots of coffee or alcohol, smoking cigarettes or popping a tranquilizer before speaking will improve their delivery. They do it to pep up or calm down. Mood-altering substances are an emotional crutch you don’t need. The problem is that you can’t regulate the dosage. You don’t know how much is too much. Once it is in your bloodstream, there is little you can do about it. Your relaxation may turn to sluggishness. Your pep may turn to jitters. It’s best to avoid these substances altogether.

Additionally, eat lightly, or not at all, one hour before speaking. A full stomach can lower your energy level and concentration, because your body is busy digesting food. Any nervousness can make digestion difficult. You don’t want a belch or a gurgling stomach interrupting your speech!

8. Look your best

Take some time with your appearance. Polish your shoes and comb your hair. Wear attractive, flattering, professional-looking clothing. When you look good, you feel confident. If you aren’t sure what looking good is all about, do what professional speakers do. Have a few sessions with an image consultant to learn about the colors and styles that look best on you. Women can get personalized advice on hair and make-up. A good image consultant can tell you how to look fantastic without spending a fortune.

9. Remember to breathe

Anxiety tightens the muscles in the chest and throat. With a restricted airway and without enough oxygen, your voice can come out as a squeak! Deep breathing, on the other hand, sends oxygen to the lungs and brain and expands the throat and chest, promoting relaxation. As you approach the platform, take a deep breath and relax.

10. Focus on friendly faces

While speaking, maintain eye contact with your listeners. Find friendly faces and focus on them. Smiles and approving nods will give you extra encouragement.

Final Words….

It’s ironic that some people are more afraid of public speaking than of driving on the highways. Yet, vastly more casualties and fatalities result from traffic accidents than from public speaking. Fear is a natural survival mechanism. It can motivate us, or stop us in our tracks. In situations that pose a threat to life and limb, fear motivates us to be careful. On the other hand, fear is a problem when it interferes with our goals and achievements. These ten tips will help you progress toward confidence on the platform. Ultimately we succeed when we conduct ourselves according to the rewards we want, rather than the things we fear.

Source: http://www.articlecube.com

Judith E, Pearson, Ph.D. owns and manages Motivation Strategies, Inc., a counseling and coaching practice in Springfield, VA. She is also a free-lance writer and speaker, certified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and clinical hypnotherapy. Her web site is www.engagethepower.com

What really keeps you from living your dreams?

What problem is most dominant in peoples lives?

The answer is: FEAR!

People live every day in fear. Fear of losing their wealth, fear of losing their loved ones, fear of making the wrong decisions, fear of being themselves, fear of growing up, fear of making a commitment. The list goes on and on.

The leading cause of people not fulfilling their dreams is NOT the fear of failure - it’s the fear of success! The fear of actually accomplishing what they set out to do. The fear of living life to the fullest may have paralyzed you. This will cause you to never really try in your business, or if you do try, to sabotage your efforts so you never have to face your fear of success.

Most people live their lives in the grip of this fear and they aren’t even aware that it has control over them! The fear is the one thing that can turn your dreams of financial freedom, loving relationships, and a fulfilling and significant life into a pattern of habits including procrastination, self-sabotage and other bad habits.

Fear is the dominate problem in your life today. The two questions you need to answer to conquer your fear are:

Which fear has the most control over your behavior? Is it the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of success, or is it all of them?

How do I interrupt the bad habits that I have developed as a means of protection from this fear? How do I interrupt the programming I have within me?

These are the two most significant questions when it comes to overcoming your fears. If you can answer these two questions, your life will forever change!

The reality of fear is that it is human and is a part of life. It’s not going to go away. Some fear is even healthy! It is a gift given to you to keep you safe and bring you closer to your creator.

Every person is born with three instinctive fears. These are: fear of falling, fear of loud noises, and fear of abandonment. These three fears were given to you to help you monitor what is going on around you. Think about it; it is fear that gives you the adrenaline rush that makes you escape from a situation that is really, truly unsafe. It also gives you the same rush that causes you to fight to win.

Faith is born in fear. God knew in His infinite wisdom that fear is what would drive His people back to Him. Although sometimes it is only in times of extreme fear that we look to God and choose Him. Take a look at your own life and think about the times you looked to God for His power and wisdom. Those were probably times of extreme fear. True faith is born from fear!

So what caused the gift of fear to be the number one problem in society today? Why do people let fear control their actions, beliefs and lives? The answer is the difference between reacting to fear and acting in fear. It has everything to do with your belief system.

Children typically react instinctively to fear, which is appropriate behavior at this age. Most adults don't make the distinction between reacting to fear, as when they were a child, and acting with their intellect when dealing with fear.

People react instinctively to fear by either denying it or running away from it. They miss the power that comes from acting with their intellect, never allowing the fear to become the gift it was intended to be. Learn to act with your intellect by exposing your true fears and the beliefs they represent and free yourself so you can move on with all you are meant to do, have and become!

By: SNG

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Lou and Robin Bonaventura have been Professional Network Marketers for 4 years. Are you serious about changing your life, motivated and trainable? If so, we want to hear from you right away: visit www.SuccessNetworkGroup.com to request an immediate interview. Also visit www.SNGBlog.com for information on how personal development can benefit you!

These tips on how to stop worrying come from experience. I've always been a bit of a worrier. Thankfully, I have learned some techniques that help me and others that have used them. Here are the best of them.

Make A Decision

A sure way to stop worrying too much about an unresolved issue is to make a decision. Even bad decisions may often be better than doing nothing. You may immediately resolve the stress when you finally decide to quit that job, buy that house, or make that phone call. Nothing can crowd and cloud your mind with worry quite so much as decisions waiting to be made. Just make them, and if they prove to be bad decisions, just make new ones.

Take Action

Action towards a goal tends to diminish worry. Doing nothing but thinking too much about a goal, especially if you dwell on the hurdles, will cause you worry and stress. Certainly you should plan well, but when planning drifts towards worrying, start doing something positive.

Confront Problems

Want to know how to stop worrying when there are real problems? Confront them head-on. When I had to sue someone over a business matter, I was worrying about it for weeks. I finally just filed the papers, got on the phone, and came to an agreement. My stress was gone. In fact, my worrying dissipated as soon as started acting, BEFORE the resolution.

Even if you tend to dwell on past losses, you can probably see that there is more mental pain in thinking about a possible loss than in the loss itself. Suppose you lost a thousand dollars in the stock market a while back. Today, you would probably suffer less from that than you would from wondering if you'll make it on time to a concert you paid $30 for. It isn't the problems themselves, but the anticipation of problems that causes the most worry. Deal with them head on as soon as is possible, and resolve them to the extent possible.

Mental Categories

When there are too many things going on in my head, I put them on lists and feel better. Maybe you've had similar experiences. If you're thinking too much about something, and you stop to schedule a time to work on it, it is easier to let go of it for now. Write down that phone call you have to make on tomorrow's list, and you'll feel less worried now. You're creating "mental categories." Just telling yourself, "There is nothing I can do about this until Monday," can put a worry into a category of "nothing to worry about now."

How To Stop Worrying By Meditating

Meditating can be a great way to relax and to stop worrying. What if you don't want to take the time for more involved meditative practices? Try this: just close your eyes, let the tension out of your body and take several deep breaths through your nose. There are also brain wave entrainment CDs that will do all the work for you. Pop on the headphones and they'll relax you by slowing your brain waves.

Whichever techniques you use to stop your worries, make them into habits. Nothing works if you forget to use it. In fact, until they become automatic, you might want to carry a list of your favorite tips on how to stop worrying.

About the Author: Steve Gillman has been studying brainpower and related topics for years. For more on How To Increase Brain Power, and to get the Brain Power Newsletter and other free gifts, visit: http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com

Source: www.easyarticles.com

An acquaintance told me a story recently about the public speaking experience that paralyzed her mentally for five years.

As the valedictorian of her high school class, she had prepared a speech called "The Power of the Mind." She was not anxious about the speech, as she was an experienced performer and speaker. She began her speech confidently, with a strong opening.

A short way into the speech, she found herself wondering, "what if I fainted?" It made no sense, since she was not afraid of public speaking, but she started to question whether she would be able to finish the speech. As this thought took hold, she started to see spots in front of her eyes. She began to feel dizzy. She grasped the lectern with all her strength to keep from collapsing.

Finally, she got a grip on herself, took some deep breaths, and was able to finish the speech. She hadn't delivered it the way she had hoped, but was able to do it without falling over.

For the next five years, every time she had to give a presentation, she would panic, and this fear - that was literally created out of her own mind - took over.

Most of our fears and anxieties about public speaking are based on thoughts that have very little to no basis in reality. Sometimes, a person has actually had real-life negative experiences that trigger those fears. But it's just as likely that a person who dreads public speaking has never had a bad public speaking experience.

I had a similar experience, in that I created fear and anxiety in my mind, but it was not about public speaking. Here's another example of this amazing power our minds have to create - and control - fear.

In 1990, I was hit head-on by a car while driving my scooter. I wasn't wearing a helmet; my head and the car's front end met in the middle of a busy intersection. I was lucky that nothing was broken and that I didn't suffer a more severe head injury. Recovery was slow, and soon after the accident I started having panic attacks.

I couldn't sit in a crowded restaurant. I couldn't tolerate the middle seat at the movie theater. Elevators made me anxious, and my biggest fear was sitting inside an airplane for ten hours, unable to get out. With a trip to Europe already planned, this was going to happen, whether I liked it or not.

I was referred to a therapist who specialized in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She taught me breathing, visualization and relaxation techniques. I started to find myself reversing the panic attacks. If I felt one coming on, I could close my eyes, visualize a calming scene, breathe deeply, and conquer the anxiety. It was a powerful tool.

However, I realized that I could also CREATE a panic attack, just by thinking of the trigger. So now, I could sit in the middle seat at the movie theater, but I would start worrying, "what if I have a panic attack?" By letting the idea get comfortable in my mind, I could create the panic attack out of thin air. Now I had the tools to combat the attack, and I also had the tools to create one from scratch.

To this day, I am more comfortable in a aisle seat. I know that I can handle a claustrophobic trigger, but I still avoid putting myself there, knowing what my brain is capable of. At the same time, when I don't have a choice, I know my brain can handle that, too. Recently, I attended a Cirque du Soleil traveling performance. Anyone who's been to one of these shows knows how tightly packed the audience is. The big top is crowded, dark, hot, and literally defines claustrophobia! I sat through the performance - in a middle seat! - and had a great time, not once feeling the dread (or allowing it to) take over.

If our mind is powerful enough to create fear from "nothing," it's also powerful enough to reframe our thoughts to propel us forward in a positive way. There have been many books written about the power of positive thinking - the most well-known of these is Norman Vincent Peale's, first published over 50 years ago. Recent medical research shows, for example, that a positive expectation of a medication has real measurable physical effects (not just the psychological "placebo effect") on our health.

How does this apply to you as a public speaker? You can control the amount of fear and anxiety you experience around public speaking. You have the power to turn negative and fearful thoughts into positive ones. How do you do it?

1. The first step is being aware of your negative thoughts. Many of these thoughts are subconscious, but becoming aware of them and bringing them forward to your conscious mind is an important step. Once you are aware of these thoughts, you are then able to replace them with positive thoughts. You might say the following to yourself, "I'm an excellent speaker. People want to hear what I have to say. I'm going to have a great time. I'm excited about sharing my expertise." You choose the words that work for you; the important thing is to say them to yourself. This is the first step toward believing your positive thoughts.

2. The next step is visualizing yourself being successful at public speaking. Using your imagination, close your eyes and see yourself in the venue, speaking to an attentive audience. They are smiling and nodding. They are fascinated by what you have to say! Visualize yourself standing confidently, smiling and delivering your presentation clearly, concisely and with passion and enthusiasm. Imagine the audience applauding at the end (why not have a standing ovation while you're at it?). Imagine people seeking you out afterward, expressing gratitude and appreciation for what you've just taught them.

3. Finally, you will want to prepare physically for your presentation. On your way to the venue, warm up your voice by singing along to your favorite music. Breathe deeply. Once you get there, stretch and massage your back, neck, shoulders, chest, jaw and face. Continue deep breathing to bring oxygen to your brain and muscles, improve blood flow, and reduce tension that can make your voice weak or quivery.

If you have severe and paralyzing fear, it might help to see a therapist to get started, but most people who fear public speaking are not paralyzed or phobic. These simple tools may be all you need to start turning around your perceptions. It won't happen overnight, but if you commit to changing your negative thought patterns, you have the power to make it so.

After five years, my acquaintance finally took control of her public speaking fears, and so can you!

About the Author: Lisa Braithwaite works with individuals to uncover their challenges and build their strengths in presenting themselves confidently as speakers. Find your voice with public speaking coaching! Sign up for my newsletter and find out about my free consultation by visiting www.coachlisab.com.

By: Stan Popovich

How can you overcome the fear of doing something new? Doing something for the first time can cause some anxiety because you do not know what to expect. Here are some tips on how to reduce the fear and anxiety of doing something for the first time.

In order to reduce your stress, you need to do the activity for a few times to get a handle on things. Remember when you first learned to ride your bike. You probably fell down a few times but eventually you got the hang of it. The more you do something the more you will feel comfortable.

Remind yourself that you will learn something new when you do a certain task for the first time. There is nothing wrong with learning something new and gaining new experiences. There is always ways to improve and become a better person.

Be flexible and have an open mind. It can be tough to do something new when you do not know what to expect. Be willing to go with the flow and open your mind to learning new things. If something doesn't go according to plan do not be quick to get upset. Evaluate the situation and see what you can do to improve it.

Go at your own pace. Some people like to rush into things that can cause a lot of stress. If you are nervous on doing something new, take a few steps forward to see what happens. If everything is ok, then take some more steps. There is no hurry so take your time.

If you really get nervous, then ask a friend to join you. Doing something new with a friend will reduce your stress because you are not by yourself.

Everybody get nervous when encountering something new and different. Take a deep breath and take things slow. If things do not turn out right, then stop what you are doing and do something else. We all face new opportunities so do not be quick to dismiss them.

Article Source: http://www.articlecube.com

Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: www.managingfear.com

I had to take a friend to the doctor today and as I sit here in the waiting room about to doze off I begin to write this article. By the way, why do waiting rooms in doctor's offices make people sleepy?

OK, let me get back on track. As I'm sitting here, I hear a lady behind me talking of her past depression. She mentions she felt so lonely after her dear husband passed away. In her own words, 'her whole world fell apart.' She said her husband handled everything in their marriage such as the money, bills and auto maintenance. After he passed away she became overwhelmed with all the finances and other responsibilities she now had to deal with, not to mention the fact that she was still mourning the death of her husband.

This conversation got me to thinking of how many people deal with the painful loss of a loved one.

Many times when a loved one passes, those left behind might not immediately feel the effects of that loss. It has not 'hit them' or 'sunk in' yet. Sometimes it takes a while for a person to react to the loss. Some may try to stay strong or hide their feelings in front of others. But when the funeral is over and the family and friends have returned to their homes, the person may break down. It finally sinks in. Some sink into a depression so bad they close themselves off from the rest of the world. They take extra time off from work and even turn down invitations from family and friends.

Isolation and self-pity are never the answer. It's okay to mourn. Even people in Bible times mourned when they lost loved ones in death.

A few examples of this include:

* King David who was grief stricken when his son Absalon died (2Samuel 18:33)

* Abraham bewailed the loss of his dear wife, Sarah (Genesis 23:2)

* Even Jesus himself, who was a perfect man, 'gave way to tears' over the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35)

So this shows that there is a sadness when we lose a loved one to death.

The thing is to not dwell on everything. Keep busy. Get involved in other things such as hobbies. Get you mind off the loss. The memories will always be there but they don't have to be painful.

Another thing that can help you deal with your sorrow is Bible reading. God, being the loving God that he is, helps his people to endure the extreme sadness and grief that comes with bereavement. God's spirit helps us to have peace and faith in the worderful future promised in his Word the Bible.

The Scriptures refer to God as 'the God of all comfort,' so we can be sure that he will give us the strength we need and not let us be overwhelmed by sad thoughts about our dead loved one.

Knowing all this should help us realize that we are not alone in experiencing the pain of our loss. Others have been through the same thing. In time, the pain will subside. The world is not going to stop for our broken heart. Life will go on. Things WILL get better.

So knowing all of this and the fact that even the perfect man Jesus went through this as well, should help us to deal with the painful loss of a loved one.

Source: www.easyarticles.com

About the Author: Anna Allen is author of several articles on depression and grief. Visit her depression website at: http://www.depressionadviceonline.com/index.html or visit her Depression Blog which contains helpful articles that are updated daily: http://depressionadviceonline.blogspot.com/

By: Steve Scoresby

If you ask most people why they have not achieved their goals or the level of success they desire, they will usually respond with some built-in excuse (negative belief) that is holding them back. Underlying this excuse or negative belief is usually a fear or worry. How many times have you attempted something new, only to stop before you ever got started because you were afraid of what others may think? Or you don't think you have the time or money or both? Or because you believe are inexperienced or lack the knowledge to succeed?

Someone once defined F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real, which means we have chosen to believe in something that is not really true. But because it is our belief, it is our reality. Worry is nothing more than a sustained fear caused by indecision. Sometimes we need to ask some tough questions to determine the cause of these worries or fears. Once the fear is identified, a simple formula can be used to overcome that fear.

The first step is to clearly define what you are afraid of or worried about. Write in down. Put in on paper. Half of your worries and fears will be solved the instant you can define them clearly by putting them on paper. What once seemed big in your mind will look small and insignificant on paper.

For the other half, you need to move on to step two. Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that can happen if this fear or worry becomes true? Make a list, yes, write it down on paper underneath your clearly defined worry. Keep writing down everything that comes to mind until you have identified the worst possible outcome. Do you realize that 90% of what we worry about never happens? Think about how much time you spend on worrying about stuff that never will happen. This list will help you see that.

Once you have completed your list, resolve in your mind that you will accept the worst possible thing that can happen. Since 90% of those things will never occur and generally the other 10% will not kill you, realize you will survive. Accept the worst possible thing by telling yourself, I can handle it, over and over again. This will start to turn things around.

Finally, begin now to make sure the worst never happens. Put together an action plan of exactly what you need to do to turn things around. By focusing on positive changes and implementing your action plan, your focus will shift to the positive outcomes and away from your fears. You will begin to feel better because now you can DO SOMETHING! Positive action is the only cure for fear and worry. Try this formula today and see if it will work for you. It has worked for me.

To Your Success!
Steve Scoresby

Article Source: http://www.articlecube.com

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