Blog for Self Improvement

Self hypnosis is a great tool for goal setting and self improvement. Most people are surprised at how easy it is to learn self-hypnosis. And self-hypnosis, in turn, makes a lot of things much easier.

Self hypnosis is usually thought of as a person listening to an audio tape, mp3, or other mass-produced media, intended to induce a willingness to absorb suggestions centered around a specific topic such as weight loss, stop smoking, etc.

Unfortunately, this kind of hypnosis is generally prepared by someone who has never met the person being hypnotized, often presenting unwanted, even unpleasant imagery and suggestions.

For example, if you sunburn easily, that last thing you want to hear about is a slow walk on a sunny beach. In this case, the "self" in self hypnosis simply means that you listen to it by yourself.

How do you incorporate self improvement to hypnosis?

To be able to go about self improvement, there are certain aspects in you that should be addressed. Using hypnosis, the negative aspects that are serving as hindrances to improvement are eliminated.

A true self hypnosis would necessarily be designed and created by the very person who will ultimately use and benefit from it.

Unlike the mass-produced hypnosis, this hypnosis is made for the exact purpose the person wishes, including the precise words and phrases that mean the most to that particular person.

The true self hypnosis is thus crafted by the person to suit his or her own needs. The benefits derived could only be accomplished with such a personal, one-of-a-kind hypnosis. In this case, the "self" in self hypnosis really does mean that you are hypnotized by yourself!

Below is a short view of the self hypnotic process. Though lots of variations of this method have been used, these are the basic steps you have to go through in order to hypnotize yourself to accomplish self improvement.

1. Position your goals from the most important goal to the less important. If possible, your goals should be measurable.

2. For each goal, you should formulate fitting suggestions which means you have to convert your goals into specific instructions to your subconscious mind on how to achieve each goal.

3. Relaxation. Use the first minutes of your self hypnotic session to get as relaxed as possible. Try to forget all your worries and problems.

4. Start your hypnotic initiation phase by saying and repeating out loud the hypnotic words you have chosen, thinking of these words or listening to a hypnotic tape or CD customized for your hypnotic and goal fulfillment needs.

5. Apply the hypnotic suggestions you have made for reaching the specific goal you work with, say them out loud, think them or use a tailored hypnotic tape or CD.

Before you start up your self hypnotic exercises you should make a time schedule for it. Do your hypnotic sessions every day, five minutes a day is enough. Repeat your suggestions as often as possible during the day.

Measure your progress. Are you closer to your goal now than you were before you started? Ask yourself. If you answer negative to these questions, you have to rethink and reorganize your train of thoughts.

This is the only way you can find out if this method is really helping you in achieving your self improvement goals.

Would you benefit from identifying some “not-to’dos” to propel you to success more quickly and with less energy and less effort? When we strategize for success, we typically focus on the things we will do and the steps we will take to reach success. Without a doubt, that is an excellent strategy. However, there may be things getting in the way of your success that are holding you back from achieving the results you most want. Perhaps it would be helpful to make a "not-to-do" list to help you change some of your old worn out habits that no longer serve you.

When I began my coaching career, I studied great coaches to learn how they worked with their clients. My first role model was Cheryl Richardson, best-selling author and Life Makeover Coach who was featured on Oprah. I would listen to recordings of her programs, read her books and do my best to pattern my coaching after her style. Invariably, I would fall short of being able to coach in the seemingly "perfect" way that Cheryl did. After presenting a program or working with a client, I would compare the worst aspects of my performance to the best of Cheryl's which always left me feeling less than adequate and frustrated with myself.

In my comparison, I neglected to include important information such as the fact that I was new to coaching and Cheryl had been at it for several years, and that she had once been a new coach who had not started out as polished as she had become after years of experience. I only saw my shortcomings in comparison to her brilliance. Once I decided to stop the self sabotage and quit comparing myself to Cheryl, I was able to relax and coach with confidence. Without the pressure that I had created to "be like Cheryl," I was able to be my best which was more than enough.

What needs to go on your "not-to-do" list in order to reach your goals for 2007? Maybe you are like I was and need to stop comparing yourself to someone else? Or, do you need to stop scheduling too many activities? Stop trying to do everything on your own without asking for help? Stop trying to be perfect? What will you put on your "not-to-do" list so that you can achieve success this year?

Ideas for your "not-to-do" list

1. Stop comparing your worst to someone else's best. Comparing yourself to someone else is a recipe for disappointment. It is especially frustrating when you try to size up your performance, or your appearance, or some other quality to a super model, an Olympic athlete or your brother or sister who always outshined you. Give yourself a break and appreciate that you are more than enough just as you are. It is better to be the best version of yourself than to torture yourself with unrealistic comparisons to others.

2. Stop waiting for someone else to make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. You are in charge of your life and of your happiness. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Decide that you will create your own happiness rather than expect it from someone or something else. Take responsibility for doing things that bring you joy.

3. Stop focusing on what you don't have. Rather than focus on not having enough time, enough money, enough energy or enough help, etc. focus on what you do have and be grateful that you have it. Watch your world begin to change in a positive way as you let go of limiting thoughts of what you don't have and express gratitude for what you do have.

"Self-sabotage is the worst deterrent to your best performance." Coach Pat Morgan

By: Coach Pat Morgan

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Pat Morgan, MBA and Executive Coach, helps clients maximize their potential in today’s fast-paced environment. Her unique coaching programs inspire clients to achieve goals they may never have thought possible. Her focus draws from the inside out – helping clients become the best version of themselves they can be. Get your free copy of my special report, GET RESULTS NOW! when you subscribe to my newsletter, Smooth Sailing Success. Visit www.SmoothSailingSuccess.com

After years of research on happiness, money, life and goals, here are some of my key findings.

Researchers from the University of Illinois and Pennsylvania State declare that, in a 1985 survey, the Maasai of East Africa were almost equally satisfied with life as some of the 400 richest Americans on the Forbes list. The Maasai are a traditional herding people who have no electricity or running water and live in huts made of dung.

Goal. Realize that making huge amounts of money doesn't necessarily buy happiness. Maybe it's time to stop competing with the neighbours for the flashiest car. Money, power, fame or status should not be treated as the goal, rather as resources towards more meaning and purpose. Perhaps the goal will be more freedom, control and health in your life.

People who are truly successful look at their values and live a rich and rewarding life created through healthy relationships, personal integrity, and discovery. They are not concerned with impressing others with wealth and status.

Goal: Spending more time with family, friends and the community can be an inexpensive yet incredibly rewarding experience as opposed to watching TV or shopping. Being honest with yourself and open to new adventures certainly adds spice to life as well.

People happiest in their jobs are the ones that remain truly engaged, learn something new everyday, and have a connection with different groups and networks.

Goal: Start learning new things. Discover your passions and build on them. Seek information. This is what leads to true meaning and purpose in ones career.

Summary. Being clear on your life goals leads to a much more satisfying life.

1) After basic needs are met, money doesn't buy much more happiness.

2) Our relationships with others provide some of our greatest values and inspirations.

3) Connecting with your work and continuously seeking value adding information makes life much more satisfying.

About the Author: Terry Vermeylen is one of those rare people that is passionately driven to help others unlock their own barriers toward fulfillment, meaning and purpose. He is the founder of

 http://www.mylifechanges.com/, an Internet value identification and goal setting enterprise.

Everything is going well. You’ve been working hard, and staying focussed. Now you’re on track for your latest goal… Suddenly you find yourself doing or saying something that completely ruins your chances of hitting your target…

You shake your head in amazement and frustration with yourself – why did you do that? Why did you sabotage yourself again?

You are not in control of your mind

One of the most common reasons that people fail to reach their goals is that they sabotage themselves. Self sabotage usually happens when you are trying to do something that is outside your normal comfort zone. It is almost as if your unconscious mind is using it’s power to pull you back into your comfort zone.

Your mind power is so great that it can completely determine your success in anything that you try.

Self sabotage can be caused when what you are trying to achieve or do contradicts some deeply entrenched conditioning. The subconscious mind will take control and find a way to make sure that your previous conditioning will win out. You may not want this to happen, but you are powerless to stop it.

A good example is lottery winners who end up blowing all their money. They bought a lottery ticket to get rich. The prize money they win is vastly more money than they are conditioned to and they are now outside their well established financial comfort zone. Their subconscious mind finds a way to return them to the financial level that they have been conditioned to – usually pretty quickly!

Use your mind power to overcome self sabotage

You’ve probably got the message by now that self sabotage is bad. The question is: can you overcome your past conditioning and stop self sabotage by using your mind power?

The answer is yes you can – but it might take some effort! Here are some hints to help you.

Be aware of self sabotage. You may be sabotaging yourself without even knowing it. Awareness of self sabotage can be very helpful. When you find you are repeatedly failing to achieve something that is really important to you, think about what happened. Did you sabotage yourself?

Exorcise the demon that is driving you. Some aspect of your mind power is driving you to this behaviour. Think about what you do to sabotage yourself and why you do it. Something as simple as knowing the past conditioning that is driving you can help to diminish its hold on you.
If knowing about your past conditioning is not enough, you may need to take action to work on eradicating it.

Focus on the benefits of achieving your goal. Filling your mind with the benefits that you are going to enjoy when you achieve your goal will create an army of positive thoughts that can overwhelm the negative conditioning that is causing you to sabotage yourself.

Don’t beat yourself up. OK you messed up again, and you did it to your self for no good, logical reason. But it’s happened and there’s nothing you can do to change the past. Don’t waste energy beating yourself up. Instead strengthen your resolve to lay this demon to rest for ever.

Self sabotage one of the most common reasons why people fail to get out of their comfort zones and achieve their life dreams. Knowing about self sabotage and taking positive action to eliminate it will help you to avoid this major pitfall.

By: Kevin John

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Do you want to learn more about use mind power? Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth here. Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to achieve success.

We know right from wrong, we know good from bad, so instinctively, all our decisions are made right away. It is when we begin to rationalize our decisions that we make the mistakes that we regret. Millionaires know the secrets to Goal Setting, Self Improvement & Decision Making, learn their Words of Wisdom:

• You will know you made the right decision because your body tells you it is the right decision, from the passion and the focus you get from making that decision.

• Choosing the right decision, opens the door to new options, once you have made that decision, the key to making that decision is sticking to it to make it right.

• Making a decision is a commitment to follow through because it truly brings out your own integrity.

• When you make a decision, you have to use your heart; you have to listen to your heart.

• Understanding you have to opportunity to make your own decisions is truly the key to success.

• Our inner strength and trust in our abilities to draw from all around and within to make decisions, actually provides the ability to make the decision.

• The ability to make a decision is leadership!

• We learn to make goals in our lives to attain success, the S.M.A.R.T. way to make goals in our lives is simple and goals must be: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely.

• Decisions often fall back on the attainment of goals by others ahead of us; most of our decisions are based on positive examples of people who have succeeded from similar decisions.

• Successful people make up their minds quickly and change their minds slowly. Unsuccessful people make up their minds slowly and change their minds quickly.

• Indecision leads to procrastination and can reinforce negativity.

• As you grow in personal/self development, you no longer need proof of success; self doubt fades and confidence in your decisions takes over, this is liberation.

• “You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.” – Mike Litman

• The decision process includes quiet and allowing, but taking too much time to make a decision limits your time to make more decisions.

• Making decisions allow ourselves to make more decisions, with liberation from not being afraid of what we are going to decide and that is what will truly lead us Beyond Freedom!

So what decisions have you made in your life?

Have you made more good decisions than bad decisions?

If you have historically made more good decisions than bad decisions then learn from the wisdom that suggests we make decisions quickly and change our minds slowly because by making more decisions there will be more good decisions made.

Goal setting, a focus on self improvement & quick decision making are keys to success, use these words of wisdom to unlock your possibilities today!

Because YOU Deserve Money!

Greg Nicholls

© 2006 - Nicholls Enterprises - www.deservemoney.com

You can now subscribe to the FREE "Deserve Money Newsletter" and receive weekly insight and knowledge from Greg Nicholls, visit http://www.DeserveMoney.com and subscribe today!

Greg Nicholls, a 36 year old Husband, Father & Entrepreneur brings you weekly information with his free newsletter that will help you understand why you Deserve Money in your life and how to get it! To subscribe to his newsletter, visit http://www.deservemoney.com and begin to benefit from his inspiring insights. Greg is also known for teaching people how to build a successful business while working from home, for more information on how to develop your own successful business right the first time, contact Greg by email at Greg@DeserveMoney.com or call his toll free number from anywhere in North America at 1-800-388-4563 or from outside North America to Canada at 778-786-2287.

Success is a popular topic. There are countless books and articles available, and many claim to hold the "secrets" of success. A secret implies some special knowledge that must be obtained before one can experience success. Not only will this feed a victim mentality -- that attitude of "Well, no wonder I'm not successful. There's a secret other people know, and obviously I don't" -- it makes the whole thought of what is required to achieve success unnecessarily complicated.

There is a 14th century principle known as Occam's Razor which basically says all things being equal, the simplest solution tends to be the best one. In the 1960's it became encapsulated in the acronym KISS: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart. So let's simplify success into its three most basic components.

1. DECIDE to change. A change must be desired. There must be dissatisfaction with the status quo, a dislike of the way things are right now. Whether it's the dirty dishes on the kitchen table or dreading getting up in the morning to go to your job, the current situation must be sufficiently uncomfortable that it creates the internal motivation to do something different, to make a change. Change must be viewed as a positive, and the benefits of making the change must out-weigh the perceived costs of doing so. Decide it is time to make a change, to go for something more.

2. DECLARE your intention. The question then becomes, "What do I want to achieve?" There are lengthy, expensive seminars available on the topic, but that question is the bottom line in goal-setting. What is the desired end result? What do you want? That is the goal, and attaining that goal will mean success to you. And this has to be personal. It has to be your goal that you are willing to commit to, otherwise you won't follow through on it if you even manage to start. Set aside what society defines as success, what your family and/or friends may define as success. Declare your definition of success. Own it and commit yourself to making it happen.

3. DO it. Dreaming and planning isn't enough. You have to make it happen. The desire to make a change on its own is not enough. There are many people who desire change in their lives but are unable to articulate what they truly want, so they do nothing. Even being committed to a goal with clear steps in mind is not enough. Many people know exactly what they want from life but succumb to routine, so they do nothing. Ultimately you must take action. Some helpful advice I've received is, "You don't have to get it right. You just have to get it going." Learn as you go. Experience is the best teacher. As mistakes occur, adjustments can be made. But first you have to get it moving. Remember junior high science class and the Law of Inertia? A body at rest tends to stay at rest while a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Start the motion, and as you gain momentum, it becomes easier.

Why make things complicated? Success becomes simple when you Decide, Declare and Do. Look at some of your recent accomplishments, large or small, and you'll discover you've used these three steps. You're already successful, and you deserve to attain the success you desire. Just keep it simple, sweetheart!

By: Marie Cannon

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Businesswoman, Friend, Collaborator, and Team player, Marie Cannon fulfills her Entrepreneurial Calling by offering a great service that enriches the lives of others. Together with other fellow BraveHeart Community members, her goal is to empower Women to be multi-dimensional success stories and inspiration to others. Be Sure to Visit: Be a BraveHeart Woman

Are you always in a hurry? You want to make a change in your life, you want to get on, you’re ambitious. You find yourself setting big targets for every day, rushing from place to place hustling to get there faster, getting stressed out every time there’s a hold up. STOP! Take a deep breath, it doesn’t have to be like this…

No, you don’t have to be constantly living on your nerves, pushing to fit in one more meeting, one more thing on your to-do list…

Slow down to speed up!

Think about it for a moment, how much time do you spend every week focussed on getting to your next meeting or the next place you need to be. What are you really achieving when you’re worrying about saving a few seconds or minutes on your journey?

NOTHING! Yes, nothing. Most of the time you’re just stuck in a mental rut going over the same fruitless, stressful ground of worrying about being late. This gets you nowhere, you don’t achieve anything positive, it’s a complete waste of time!

It’s time to change your habits…

Start by allowing yourself enough time to get to where you want to go. Of course there are times when you just have to get there as fast as you possible can. But more often than not you may be trying to save time by leaving at the last minute. Don’t. Allow some extra time.

Make use of those precious moments

Good, now you no longer need to fret about getting there on time, you can relax and do something productive with your time. These moments can be turned in to some of the most useful time you have in your working day.

More often than not you are in the privileged position of being away from the distractions of your normal routine so this is an excellent time to get on with some of the non-urgent but highly important thinking that you need to do.

A simple tip – carry a notebook at all times. This can be a paper notebook or a voice recorder – most modern mobile phones and pda’s can take voice notes, make use of this capability.

Use the time to review your progress and ask yourself what needs to be done next to get you to your goals. Brainstorm new ideas for your projects, brainstorm new projects… Don’t be afraid to spend some time letting your mind come up with new ideas.

Continue to educate yourself – take a personal development book, read it, take notes and plan to apply what you’ve learned in your life. The book doesn’t necessarily have to be a ‘success book’ it could be anything that is going to teach you something that you need to know – reading a French novel could help you with your next trip to France.

If you’re driving, then you are not going to be able to take your eyes off the road! However, you can use this time to good use by listening to personal development tapes. You may be spending hundreds, if not thousands of hours in your car every year – another great opportunity not to be missed!

You might think that you can’t possibly get anything useful from working in such noisy and disruptive environments. Well you can. If you persist, you will develop your power of concentration. That in itself is a valuable asset to anyone who wants to achieve success.

Planning some spare time in your day will help you to get more out of your life

Don’t let yourself get into the habit of trying to maximise your use of time by leaving everything until the last minute – especially journeys. Plan to have some spare moments and prepare to use them as effectively as possible. Spare moments can make a real difference to your chances of success if you use them wisely to educate yourself, plan your future or create new ideas.

By: Kevin John

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Would you like to learn more about goal setting, personal planning and success? Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth here. Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to achieve success.

We know the importance of goal setting in the fulfillment of our dreams in life. Without goals, we'll have a much difficult time reaching our aspirations in life.

But what if I tell you that there's a very powerful formula that will allow us to achieve our goals much faster and accelerate problem solving to the next level? In fact, this formula is going to turbo-boost goal realization to the highest level! Are you ready? Here's the formula:

Be positively obssessed with what you want. It's not enough that you want it, you got to desire it so much that you feel it flowing in your veins and you think about it every day and night. You talk about it every chance you get and you see it in every situation you're in.

If you're not fired up every time you think about it, then you're not serious enough. Re-evaluate your goal and make sure that it is your passion, your fire, the very thing that makes your body tingle with life and excitement.

You must also complement your obssession with two powerful techniques: visualization and affirmation.

You must have a crystal clear mental image of yourself already in possession of the thing you desire, or already doing/enjoying the very activity you want to do in life.

You must also consistently repeat saying what you want. If you want to be a singer, say "I am a professional singer performing in front of a large audience that is so amazed by my performance." As you say it, feel the happiness and excitement, and see yourself doing exactly the thing you say. Imagine the audience applauding you after singing a very emotional song.

Write down your goals on a small index card, then stick it in a place where you can see and read your goals daily.

There's something else you have to know. It is vital for you to think and say your desires most of the time, but sometimes we get very busy with other tasks.

So it is highly recommended that you engage in imagining, affirming, feeling, and being one with your dream at the most effective times of the day.

Do it 15 minutes before you go to sleep and 15 minutes within the time you wake up. This is very important.

Your subconscious is in its most responsive state 15 minutes before dozing off. So before hitting the snooze button, feed it with clear pictures/images, powerful affirmations/commands, and emotions so intense you could experience the happiness and excitement right at that very moment.

Do it also 15 minutes within the time you wake up. Your mind is fresh, energized, and focused at this time, so utilize its power to your best advantage.

When you are relaxed, the mind is very receptive to your commands and mental images. Go to a beach or resort, walk around the park, go sight seeing, or just lie down on a hammock. Relax and allow yourself to get involved with your dream. Relaxation can also allow you to think of creative ideas to reach your goals and ways to solve your problems.

About the Author: Michael Lee is the author of How to be a Red Hot Persuasion Wizard... in 20 days or less, an ebook that reveals mind-altering persuasion techniques on how to tremendously enhance your relationships, create unlimited wealth, and get anything you want...just like magic. Get a sample chapter and highly-stimulating "Get What You Want" advice at: http://www.20daypersuasion.com. He is the Co-Founder of http://www.self-improvement-millionaires.com and is licensed as a Certified Public Accountant.
Source: http://www.easyarticles.com

Goal setting and personal planning are skills that have to be learned, developed and honed to perfection by repeated use. One common question about goals setting and personal planning is: “Where do I start?”

Start with a finished picture

You might be tempted to start at the beginning – after all it seems logical, and it is good advice in many circumstances. The beginning is you next step, so you set some goals for the next step you want to take.

The problem with goal setting and personal planning is that setting one short term goal at a time does not work. You have to know where you are going before you even think about setting out to get there.

The first thing you need to do is to set aside some time to yourself to really think about what you want. Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you really want. It may help you to think about the 5 things that you most want to do in your life.

Now you have a picture of where you want to go. Like all great works of art, you need to add some emotions to the picture. Ask yourself “Why do I really want these things”. Write down your answers. Be honest with yourself, if you really want to make $100,000 to prove yourself to your in-laws, say so.

Choose one dream to achieve

Look at the whats and whys you’ve written down, choose the one objective that you know you really want the most. This is the one to work on.

Start building a picture of what your life is going to be like once you’ve achieved this goal. Be imaginative, engage all your senses and your emotions. This is the dream that you want to achieve.

Set aside some time each day where you can have some time to yourself. It could be before you get up in the morning, it could be at a break in your work, early mornings and late evenings are usually the best. Run your dream through your mind to remind yourself of what it is you want and why you want it.

Now it’s time to set goals and get going

This is an article about goal setting and personal planning right? You’ll be glad to hear that you are now ready to set some goals. Pick out 3-5 steps that you are going to need to take to achieve your number one dream. Write them down together with a date when you are going to achieve them – these are your goals.

The final step that so many people forget is the simplest of the lot. Just get going! Take action. Don’t agonise over the minute details of how you’re going to get there, you can figure that out as you go along. As Mike Litman said “You don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going”

By: Kevin John

Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com

Would you like to learn more about goal setting, personal planning and success? Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth here. Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to achieve succes

Burning with motivation is not always easy no matter what you are trying to accomplish. For those that are trying to get fit, motivation can even be harder. Whatever it is that you are trying to get fired up to do; there are a specific tactics that can help. You can stay motivated to accomplish almost any goal.

Visualize and see Your Goals in 3D:

When you crystallize your goals and imagine what the end results will be, you are more likely to stay motivated. You may feel more motivated by a picture of what you are working towards or need a daily visual reminder of that dream vacation you are saving money for. By keeping a visual picture in your mind and imagining yourself at your end result, you can stay inflamed to accomplish any goal.

Reward Yourself Handsomely:

Keeping pumped up can be easier if you take the time to treat yourself when you reach small milestones along the way. If you are trying a new fitness plan, try to reward yourself with a new pair of gym shoes or maybe new workout equipment. Knowing that there is something good along the way to your goal will help keep you excited about achieving your goals and you will find second wind.

See an Energizing Movie or Listen to Motivating Music:

I do this all the time. You can get all keyed up to reach your goals by watching a motivating movie (war or boxing films do great) or listening to music that will get you pumped about your goals. Look for movies that will help you see others work hard to reach their own goals. You will come out of the movie feeling ready to get busy and accomplish your goals. Music can also help you stay motivated. If you want to walk more, invest in a good MP3 system and listen to upbeat music to keep you moving. An associate, Ricardo Laudico, keeps stashes of motivational music in a 40Gb Ipod to keep focused. Not surprisingly, he’s hit many short term goals in less than a year.

Set Bit-Sized Goals and take a Breather:

Whether you are working towards saving for a new house or going vegan to lose a few pounds, set manageable goals for yourself and take a break every once in awhile. By deploying small goals, you will not feel too overwhelmed at one time. You can work on each step that will equal to big results in the end. Also, if you do get overwhelmed, take a break. Achieving your goals will not happen overnight. If you feel frustrated, take a day off and rethink your plans. Richard Bandler, founder of NLP postulates the question: “How do you eat an Elephant?” The correct answer always is: “A Bite at a Time”

Seek a Wingman and do it for yourself:

You can achieve anything with staunch conviction. If you work on a goal because you believe you can do it, it will be easy for you to stay motivated. While working on your goals, if you do need an extra push, find a partner who can keep you on track. You may have a buddy who wants to lose weight or get in shape, too. Work with that person to motivate each other when your own motivation starts to slump.

Prove them Wrong. With Flair:

Each is motivated for different reasons, but one way to stay inflamed is to remember all the times someone told you that you couldn’t do it. Prove the negative people around you wrong and accomplish your goals to show them you can. While you should never try to live your life for the approval of others, your internal passion may improve when you try to impress others. Feel good about what you can do, and others will sit up and take notice.

See It as Fun that You want to do:

You may desire to achieve a goal that you find very difficult. It may help to stay motivated by finding something fun about what you are doing. Achieve your goals because you want to do it and not because others want you to. When you find intrinsic motivation, it will be easier to stay the course.

Seek Mentors and Help the Untalented:

Chat with others who labored to accomplish the goals you are working towards. Listen to what they have to say and consider their suggestions. For people who have already been there, they can offer valuable advice and this should help you stay motivated. It would also be good to aid others while you are accomplishing your goals. If you know someone else is depending on you, it will be easier for you to keep up the good fight.

Revitalize your Routine:

Boredom kills. The rut sucks the spirit. I know. I’m an entrepreneur… and as things go, businessmen do the same thing day in day out. As activities become mechanical, the flames for achievement go out. Stop that! Vary your lifestyle and do things differently. Your brain will enjoy the stimulation… and with it, returns your motivation.

About the Author: ***
Bestselling author of Psychic Seduction, Joseph R. Plazo conducts leadership executive coaching and helps people find great jobs in the Philippines.

Source: http://www.easyarticles.com

What do you really want in life?

Most people don’t discover what they want in life until it’s time to die – and that’s a shame.

Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television or doing things they dislike. An author described humanity by saying, “Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty.” Are you one of the living zombies?

What do you really want in life?

Some people struggle in answering such a question. When asked what they want or what their goals in life are, many are unsure. They dillydally in their decision, hardly giving any thought about what they want in life. People without definite goals are letting time pass them by. Are you one of these people?

If you are undecided about what you want out of life, do not worry. There are many ways of discovering your purpose in life.

To discover what you want in life, try looking deep into your heart. Oftentimes, people are ruled by logic. People live by what they think they should be or by what others like them to be. The discovery process is the perfect time to listen to your heart. What your heart desires comes from the whispers of your authentic self. Your authentic self is the real you.

Listen to your heart to be able to listen to your authentic self. What your heart says usually feels right. What your heart desires is what you usually love to do and this represents your passion. Anything done with passion is like play where the task is accomplished without hesitation. You pour out your very best and feel no pressure or resistance.

You will totally enjoy doing things that are your passion. Setbacks, difficulties, and obstacles will make it more challenging, but should not deter you from pursuing your goals. Naturally, there may be barriers that may prevent you from reaching your goal, but your heart’s desire will find ways to overcome these barriers so that you may ultimately get what you want in life. Remember this: the universe supports people who are pursuing their passion and those who are pursuing their destiny.

However, this does not mean that you don’t use your head. People are born with both the mind and heart. Your duty is to live your best life and be in harmony with your mind and heart. The poet Rumi wisely said, “Live completely in the head and you cannot feel the breath and rhythm of life. Live completely in the heart and you may find yourself acting like a love-struck fool with poor judgment and discipline. It’s all a fine balance - the head and heart must forge a lifetime partnership if one wants to live a beautiful life.”

Listen to your instinct. Part of human nature is the mysterious and spontaneous reaction on things. Often times, these are called instincts. Your authentic self communicates with you and guides you via instincts. Instincts are those gentle nudges that urge you to act and follow a certain path. Your role then is to listen attentively.

Often times, we listen to what others say and allow them to run our lives. Parents often do this to their children. “We come from a family of doctors, so my son must also be a doctor.” How often do we hear this from parents who have good intentions for their children? Parents unconsciously block the true expression of their child’s real self and calling. Friends and critics will discourage you and point out the impossibility of your dream. Before heeding their advice, evaluate the accomplishments of the critics. Did they achieve theirs dreams? Do they dream big at all?

Remember, it is your destiny that is in line, not theirs. It doesn’t mean, though, that you will not listen to what other people say. Hear them out just the same. But the final decision should be yours.

There is only one thing to remember: Every person, to live truly and greatly, must define how he wants to live and what his brightest life will look like. Listen to your instincts and follow your heart’s desire. You will never go wrong.

By: gocken

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For an organized person or someone who dreams of achieving something, goal setting is of relative importance. Everyone wants to achieve something worthy of him, that’s a fact. If you do not set goals then it will be hard for you to distinguish if your every move has been triumphant or not. Have you ever imagined your life without goals to reach for? Have you ever felt complete? Have you ever felt contented with the every venture you go for?

Whatever personality you have, you do have goals. You mark a line as to what to achieve and when to obtain them. Whatever aspect your goal may be whether it is about your finances, something concerning your loved ones, your health, your studies, your work, or any little contribution you may give to your community entails a series of processes so they get to be fulfilled.

The Importance of Goal Setting

Have you ever tried boarding a bus without any idea of where to go? Have you ever taken an exam without the slightest idea of what answers to write? Or have you ever lifted the phone without any idea of whom to call and talk to? Now this is like working on something without knowing what to expect and what to fulfill.

Goal setting is required so you will be able to reap the valuable fruits of your efforts. Such strategy is needed in attaining what you truly desire. Goal setting serves as an outline of the plans you engage yourself with and includes the reason as to why you need to obtain them. Goals must be definite and they must be achievable. The challenge that lies in it is how you will manage to climb your way to success.

Overall, goal setting gives you the room to gauge your progress and to see how well you’ve moved forward. If you’re gradually accomplishing your target, then you can finally say that your goal setting scheme has worked well.

Things to Ponder On About Goal Setting

Goals inspire you. When you’ve set your goals, your drive to obtain them heightens. They move you towards their realization. General goals may often mislead you as you do not know for a fact which to focus on first. On the other hand, a much precise drawn goal is much easier to achieve as the direction you have to take is clearer and much recognizable.

Goal setting should be placed in a hierarchy. In accordance to being organized, your goals should be drawn as per their importance. There are different levels of goals and what matters most is to be sure that you want it and that you are determined to reach for it.

Goals ought to be written not just on a paper but also in your heart. For you to be gifted with great focus, it is best to specify, quantify, and clarify the goals you desire for.

Goals call for criteria. It does not necessarily mean that you be satisfied with the most minimal achievement just so you can say you’ve already obtained your goal. If you can push it to the highest limits, the better.

Goals must involve positive assertion. Once you’ve set your mind on a specific goal, you should stick to it. Whatever the obstacles that may come your way should be overcome.

The power of the mind coupled with the willingness of the individual enhances the materialization of the set goals. Moreover, goal setting is a vital ingredient in drawing success right into your midst.

About the Author: freenetpublishing.com is a free information site that offers articles and resources. If you want to read or share information on Self-Help, you're always welcome!

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Everyone needs a goal to achieve -- a golden carrot -- in order to truly succeed. Goals are what draw us ahead when times are tough. They are what help us overcome resistance and problems. The most important of these are personal development goals.

Here's the easy part: setting personal development goals for yourself. But the hard part is actually achieving those goals. One reason lots of people fail to reach their goals is that they made the mistake of setting blurry goals rather than crystal clear ones. Other people have a tendency to set a bunch of goals all at once. Still others choose target dates that are fuzzy or too far away.

The best way to set your personal development goals is to clearly state what you want to achieve. For example, it is great if you want to lose weight, but you have to choose a clear target at the beginning. Pick how much weight you want to lose, and write down your goal. Choose an exact number of kilos or pounds, and make it an achievable goal, not a fantasy. Don't set yourself up for failure. Say you want to lose ten pounds. Write that down, and create a simple exercise and dieting plan that will propel you down the path to that goal.

The second step to meeting your challenge is in setting the parameters. You've already established that you want to lose ten pounds. You have an exercise and diet plan ready to go. Now, give yourself a time limit. Let's say that you want to lose those ten pounds in two months. Five pounds a month. About a pound a week. That seems easily manageable. So now, you know the number of pounds you'll lose, you have a realistic time frame in place and you know exactly how you'll go about achieving success.

So the first step is done. You have established a personal development goal, and are taking the path to achieving it.

Remember not to set personal development goals that are too high at first; they can become unreachable. If you set the bar too high and fail to succeed as planned, you may find yourself tempted to give up as a failure. Your self-esteem can be negatively impacted, and your broader view of life. So make sure to set achievable, realistic goals.

And when you work hard and reach your goal, don't forget to give yourself a reward! A reward makes your focus and commitment worth something else besides the great accomplishment itself. You don't have to spend a bunch of money or eat a giant cheesecake that will start you gaining weight again, for example. Why not take a rewarding walk in a park, have a glass of good wine, or take yourself out to a matinee movie? Reward yourself for sticking to your plan and meeting your goal.

Once you've achieved your first personal development goal, you'll be ready to take on another. Remember to set your next goal in the same manner as the first: achievable, clear, and with a time frame. And then, there's no turning back. Who knows where your life will be in 5 or 10 years from now? After accomplishing a series of small, doable goals, you might be amazed where you will end up. All it takes is setting and accomplishing that first, small goal, and you are on your way.

By: Wyatt Pottoe

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Author Wyatt Pottoe writes for a variety of well-known web sites, on family parenting and home garden subjects.
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We’re all too familiar with the fate of New Year’s resolutions. To keep your goals from dissolving the same way, use these commitment-building tips:

1. Make them bite-size.

All progress is achieved a step at a time. Even if your ultimate aim is lofty or challenging, you’re more likely to reach it if you set a series of goals that you believe are attainable within the time range you set for them. Creating a goal that seems within reach not only gives you more confidence, but takes away the temptation to abandon your goal with the excuse that it was too hard.

2. Keep them short-range.

To maintain a motivating sense of urgency, set goals that extend out no further than 90 days. Many people find 30-day goals are ideal. Break larger goals down into short-range segments if you need to. It’s easier to identify the steps you’ll take on a weekly basis when your end point is in sight.

3. Limit the number of goals you tackle at once.

Ideally, work on only one goal at a time so you can give it your full focus and energy. Sometimes you may be able to handle two or three items at once without excessively diluting your effectiveness, but make sure the goals are in harmony with each other and know ahead of time what priority you give to each. That way, if you have to make a decision where to put your time, you’ll know which one should come first and which one you can postpone until another time if necessary.

4. Use target dates instead of deadlines.

Give yourself a little flexibility with your end-point by thinking of it as a target date instead of a deadline. You’re less likely to give up if it looks like you won’t make it quite on time. Real life does happen, after all.

5. Power them up with why’s.

You probably already know that you have to write your goal on paper. Along with it, write your “because.” Identify the benefits you’ll get from achieveing your goal. Know what it’s going to do for you, what’s in it for you, and how you’re going to feel when you have accomplished it.

6. Energize them with a daily R & R.

Each morning, repeat your goals (and the benefits for each of them)—preferably out loud, and preferably in a specific chair you think of as you goal-review chair. Every time you repeat your goals, you strengthen your commitment to them.

Before you go to sleep each night, review your progress. What can you learn from what happened relative to your goal today? What could you have done more of, or better? What did you allow to get in your way or undermine you? What did you achieve? What strengths did you exercise in regard to your goal?

7. Enlist the power of your subconscious.

Try using affirmative questions to get your subconscious working on ways to help you succeed. To create an affirmative question, turn a normal affirmation into a “Why” question that you repeat. Your subconscious won’t be able to keep itself from finding answers for you. For example, you might take the affirmation, “I am easily sticking to my diet,” and turn it into the affirmative question, “Why am I finding it so easy to stick to my diet?” Try it! It’s a powerhouse technique.

8. Celebrate your progress.

When you take the actions you laid out for yourself on a daily basis, congratulate yourself. Reinforce your choice to act by reminding yourself what an exceptional person you are and let yourself feel the satisfaction of that. Only a small percentage of the population is self-directed enough to actively work toward genuine goals. You stand above the crowd.

9. Find an accountability partner.

Especially if you’re new to goal setting, or when you are working on an especially challenging goal, enlist a trusted friend who cares about you to check on your progress on a weekly basis and not to accept feeble excuses if you slack off. Support groups and master mind groups can be helpful, too. Knowing you have to tell somebody else how well you did spurs you to stay on track.

10. Allow your success to happen.

Let go of any feelings that try to tell you that you don’t deserve to reach your goal. You deserve it just because you had the courage to set it. And if you have an off-day, accept it and pick up where you left off the next morning. Remind yourself that you can, and will, achieve whatever you decide to achieve, because it’s your life and you get to decide what experiences you’ll enjoy.

By: Susan K. Minarik

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Susan K. Minarik is the author of www.thetomorrowgame.com/Winning.htm” target=”_blank”>Winning the Tomorrow Game Get a subscription to The Magical Mirror ezine with enrollment in her free e-course, Live Your Dreams

by Kevin John

There are eight steps to success in life that are fundamental to your chances of success. Follow these steps and you will be able to achieve whatever you truly want. Some of the steps need you to work on developing yourself, in this article you are going to find out about the four steps that are critical to the way that you organise yourself and how you deal with people and your surroundings.

Applying the timeless principles embodied in the eight steps to success will have a tremendous impact on the results you can achieve in your life, whether you want to start a new business, loose weight, give up smoking, learn a new skill, get a promotion, pass an exam ...in fact any significant challenge you face in your life!

Personal planning and goal setting for success

Personal planning and goal setting are two of the core elements you need to be successful.

First you need to clearly know where you are going, what it is you want to achieve. Do you want to loose weight - if so how much and by when? Do you want to get a promotion - if so what is the new job you want and when do you want it by? Do you want to make more money - how much and by when?.

It's absolutely vital that you spend some time thinking about what is it you want and understanding how important it is to you. If you don't know the answers to these questions it would be a bit like setting out to go the supermarket without any idea where it is and what you are going to do when you get there. You wouldn't waste your time like that would you?

Try to imagine yourself having achieved your goal - what would the result look like, how would you feel - write down the answer to these questions.

Once you have a clear understanding of where you want to go, it's time to draw the map of how you're going to get there. In our supermarket example, if you didn't know where the store was you would draw a map. It's just the same with any destination you have in mind.

Start by looking at what you need to achieve to reach your goal - do you need to learn some new skills in order to get the job you want? If you want to loose weight, how much will you have to loose each week. If you want to make more money, what steps are you going to have to take.

Break your plan down into a few major goals and set dates for them. Does the plan look realistic, is it challenging but achievable? If not, you may need to rethink. If it does look challenging, that's fine - it's very important not to underestimate how much you can achieve!

Now starting with your first goal, break it down into small steps - each one should be something you know can do in a short space of time - hours, or at most a day or two.

Be proactive

Now you've got your plan you're already ahead of 95% of the population - take a moment to congratulate yourself. It's time to get going and take action. Be proactive, make sure you do what you said you were going to do and make sure you don't let opportunities pass you by.

So many people fall into the trap of setting themselves goals and then doing nothing - there's something they want to watch on television, their cat got ill.... How many times have you set New Year's resolutions that go nowhere!

The best laid plans of mice and men...

... often go astray! Expect the unexpected - very few people know all the answers when they draw up a plan so it's very likely that your goal setting will meet some unanticipated obstacles. Be prepared to be flexible and proactive, adjust your plan as you go along.

Whatever you do, don't loose sight of your overall goal - don't compromise on that unless you absolutely have to - and if you have to make a change maybe you'll need just a little bit more time to get there. Warning! Don't make a habit of making a change to your goal or you'll loose sight of it and end up back where you started - only more frustrated and more convinced that you can't do it.

The eight steps to success in life

There are eight steps to success in life, we've talked about the four steps you need to take to organise yourself towards achieving your goals - personal planning, goal setting for success, being proactive and being flexible. If you apply these timeless principles in your life, you can enjoy your share of success too! Learn more about the eight steps to success by visiting my website.

 
About the Author:

You can get a free, 5 part e-course "Achieving Your Dreams" for more useful tips on success. Discover more resources, articles, and support materials that will help you on your journey of personal growth.

Source: www.goarticles.com

How to set goals? First of all, don't confuse wishes or desires with goals. Often, people want things, situations or accomplishments, and call these goals. Then they're disappointed when they don't get them. Just naming your desires isn't effective goal setting. Good goals have some or all of the following:

1. Good goals are specific. A goal like, "I want to be healthy" is too general. "I want to lose weight and walk three times a week," is better.

2. They're realistic. Unfortunately, even if it is possible that you could become an astronaut, if you're already 55, you better try to become a pilot for now. Unrealistic goals set you up for failure.

3. They're written down. Writing down your goals is a way to make them more real, and this influences your subconscious mind, especially if you review the goals regularly.

4. They're measurable. Exactly how many pounds do you want to lose? How much money do you want to make? How will you know if your relationship is better?

5. They're motivating. Setting a goal for the right reasons is a good start. Good goals get you excited when you think about the benefits of accomplishing them. You should also learn how to re-motivate yourself, and reward yourself when you make progress.

6. Good goals become plans. Taking a goal and making it into specific steps makes it much more likely to be achieved. It's easier to take one step at a time.

7. They have specific deadlines. By what date will you have a new job? Setting target dates really helps you measure progress, and motivate yourself.

8. Good goals consider personal factors. Will you succeed if you feel like you don't deserve it? Possibly, but unlikely. You have to learn how to set goals for your personal development as part of any other major goals.

9. They're followed by action. A secret of motivation and to getting where you want to be is to start with any movement towards the goal. Action begets action. Start slow if you must, but start.

10. They're not written in stone. All major goals naturally evolve. Why would you become a family doctor once you learned that you liked doing lab work better?

That last one is a tough one. A change of course and an excuse are not the same thing, but to know the difference requires a certain level of self-awareness. Develop that, and you'll be more likely to get to where you want to be. Especially if you use all ten of these keys to how to set goals.

Source: www.easyarticles.com

About the Author: Steve Gillman writes on many topics including brainpower, weight loss, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. Learn more and get FREE e-courses at http://www.SelfImprovementNow.com

Are you a goal oriented person? If you are, then you probably know that all successful people in life know the basics of setting and achieving their goals. If you want to achieve a healthy life, then setting fitness goals should be no different than anything else you do.

Setting fitness goals gives you motivation and drives you for the short or long term success. Goal setting helps you obtain the knowledge necessary to achieve. If you plan and organize your time to exercise and eat the right meals, you’ll get the best out of your efforts.

Setting clearly defined fitness goals will also measure progress and provide accountability. Holding yourself accountable will help you through the challenging days (such as ordering pizza at work). Your self-confidence will sky rocket as you learn more about your capabilities.

The first thing you need to do when setting fitness goals is to have a vision of where you want to be a month from now or a year from now. Your vision of yourself must be clearly defined. For example, a good short term goal would be “I want to loose 8 lbs in one month”. Then break down your goal into smaller targets so you can easily hold yourself accountable to complete it.

When using this weight loss example: you want to set weekly goals for that month to loose 2 lbs a week. Then write down the steps necessary to loose 2 lbs a week. Use these steps as your plan to success.

Having a good attitude has a big impact on setting and achieving your goals. You must be realistic with yourself and think about anything that would hold you back from loosing weight.

Realize any behavior challenges you may have ahead of time. It will give you a mindset to attack any issues you may encounter during your path to success. For example, if you love go out to eat with co workers, try to plan your order ahead of time so you eat clean and healthy for that meal.

Leading a healthy lifestyle is for the most part dependent on your time management skills. Most people fail because they often have bad time management skills and lack of persistence. Planning your work outs and meals ahead of time will decide success or failure.

Your family should never be left out of your plans. Do not to put your family aside. If you plan your workouts during family obligations you are setting yourself up for failure. Find out what time blocks you can control (such as waking up earlier) and use that time to plan your work outs.

I’m sure someone said, “A life filled with work really stinks”, or something like that, is very true. Take advantage of life’s pleasures: set up a cheat day once a week to eat what ever you want. Having a day with no rules provides the mental break needed to continue with your fitness objectives.

Create a fitness-to-do list for the day. Write down at least three things you want to do that will help you continue your new fitness lifestyle. This will help you set the tone for the day. In my opinion writing down your fitness objectives provides a mental agreement with yourself to complete those objectives.

Once you learn the basics of setting your fitness goals, you will be able to effectively lead a life of health and fitness. It will be more realistic to you and you’ll soon be an expert on achieving your goal of leading a healthy life filled with a new found energy that you will love.

Source: www.easyarticles.com

About the Author: To really learn on how to create your fitness goals and achieve them, read our review of the burn the fat feed the muscle e book at http://www.addfitness.com. The burn the fat feed the muscle book will provide the no frills physical fitness information you will need to help you accomplish your fitness goals.

Having a goal enables you to focus your energies on devising ways to achieve it. When someone makes a decision and begins focusing on achieving a specific goal (and even better in a specific period of time), the powerful subconscious mind goes to work and begins playing with ideas and developing strategies of various ways to bring about the successful completion of the goal.

When you set yourself a goal both your conscious and subconscious start working on it and begin to develop an action plan. You will find you begin asking yourself questions about what needs to be done to enable you to reach your goal. You may find yourselves coming up with amazing ideas and solutions to problems or obstacles that have been in the way of achieving your goal. Solutions and ideas that you are surprised you ever thought of may start popping into your mind.

Our subconscious is an extremely powerful tool. The more often you remind yourself of your goal, the more your mind will work on ways for you to achieve it. Some people find answers come to them when they are asleep and dreaming.

Have you ever noticed that there is no correlation between being wealthy and having a high IQ or a university degree? If there were, every doctor and university graduate would be wealthy, and as statistics show, most of them end up in the same situation as 95% of the population.

The main thing that the majority of independently wealthy people have in common is that they have set goals for themselves and achieved them. They invest time in reading and learning about wealth creation and are happy to learn from other people’s mistakes and experiences, as well as their own. They set goals, and realise that they will be far better able to achieve them if they familiarise themselves with the ways in which other people acted and the things that others have done to succeed. Wealthy people create wealth by carefully utilising the income that they have available to them to their best advantage. They know that working harder and longer hours is not the way to achieve financial freedom, instead they have to utilise what they have, and make it grow.

Setting Goals.
When you begin to work out your goals you need to make them as specific as possible. A vague idea or generalization like “I want to buy investment properties and become wealthy” is not enough. You need to be much more detailed. “I want to own my first investment property within six months. I will save for the legal and bank fees, and borrow 100% of the value of the property. I will find an extremely well priced, three bedroom brick veneer house that is close to schools and shopping centres. It will be either brand new or less than ten years old. It will be structurally sound, and require a minimal amount of maintenance. I will find a good agent to manage it, who has a lot of experience and will find me a good tenant.”

This is a specific goal, and you could add a lot more to it. Because your goal is specific your mind immediately begins to ask questions such as “How much money will I need for the fees and charges? How much does that relate to if I break it down on a weekly basis? Will I have to look at my current expenses to see where I need to cut back so as to make up the difference for the amount I need to save?” Specific goals help you to create specific, realistic action plans and as the old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”.

You will find that if you write down your goals on a piece of paper, and put it in a prominent position, so that you will read it often, your subconscious as well as your conscious mind will start asking questions and coming up with answers, and you will find that you have already begun to take the necessary steps to achieving your goal.
It is helpful to have a series of goals, ranging from daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, ten yearly and thirty to forty yearly. You can always refine and change your goals as time goes on and situations change.

You may find that it is easier to start at the 40-year mark, and then work backwards. Try to work out what steps would be needed to achieve your 40-year goal, and spread them out over the different time spans, to what you would need to achieve to end up with the final result.

Try to make your goals realistic and achievable. Do not set a goal that is too hard. Set lots of small, easily achievable goals and work step by step to achieve your road to success. Stay positive. Believe in yourself and your abilities to succeed, even if other people patronise you or try to put you off, or tell you there is no point.

Setting and achieving goals help you to create a stronger character. It is always helpful to remember that our brain cannot entertain both positive and negative thoughts at the same time. If you stay positive you will dispel negative thought patterns. Even if you come across little obstacles that get in the way of your goals, don’t give up. Focus on finding a solution, rather than focussing on the problem – utilise a positive response. Focussing on finding solutions enables you to put your brain to work, to find ways around things. If you just see an obstacle as a problem and just accept that life has dealt you a blow, and let it stop you in your tracks, then you will never learn and grow. Remember that children learn to walk by falling over. Focus on the long-term achievements that you want to fulfil, and it will be easier to overcome your problems.

Source: www.easyarticles.com

A desire for perfection means we are never happy with ourselves or our partners; never satisfied with our lives or our looks. There is always someone, or something, better just around the corner. When we meet the desired one, they have to conform to our expectations by behaving in a prescribed manner in order to merit our attention and approval.

We are not prepared to let that person unfold gradually before us, to just be themselves and surprise us with something different, en route to what might turn out to be the same end. Instead, we have high expectations about how the partner should look (like the age old cliché of ..looking sexy in a little black number..) and how they should act in public (..mustn..t drink beer from pint glasses.. or must have the right designer car and clothe) according to our identikits.

What many people don..t realise is that, should their soulmate change into the perfect ideal required, they both will be seeking different partners! Think about it carefully. People come together because they are attracted to each other .. AS THEY ARE .. not what they hope to be. Change one person to something else and s/he will then be looking for a new partner to match the new characteristics they have acquired.

That is why people who are promoted and those who undertake self-development or higher education courses during their relationships tend to gravitate towards those in a similar situation, if their spouses haven..t kept up with them. Their new status would create new expectations.

Moreover, expectations and the search for perfection tend to blind us the fact that we are far from perfect ourselves. There is a lot we too need to do to become ..perfect.. in the eyes of others, like lose that ..beer belly.., stop smoking, treat others more sensitively, become more caring etc.. The end result is that we continually circle each other with high expectations, but with no capacity to fulfil them. At the same time we miss many opportunities for greater happiness by just being ourselves and enjoying it.
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About the Author: ELAINE SIHERA (Ms CYPRAH -www.myspace.com/elaineone) is a British writer, media contributor columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University, Elaine is a consultant for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. An intelligent, confident expert. Elaine is the author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (all available on www.amazon.co.uk). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Achievement Awards.