Blog for Self Improvement

Would you benefit from identifying some “not-to’dos” to propel you to success more quickly and with less energy and less effort? When we strategize for success, we typically focus on the things we will do and the steps we will take to reach success. Without a doubt, that is an excellent strategy. However, there may be things getting in the way of your success that are holding you back from achieving the results you most want. Perhaps it would be helpful to make a "not-to-do" list to help you change some of your old worn out habits that no longer serve you.

When I began my coaching career, I studied great coaches to learn how they worked with their clients. My first role model was Cheryl Richardson, best-selling author and Life Makeover Coach who was featured on Oprah. I would listen to recordings of her programs, read her books and do my best to pattern my coaching after her style. Invariably, I would fall short of being able to coach in the seemingly "perfect" way that Cheryl did. After presenting a program or working with a client, I would compare the worst aspects of my performance to the best of Cheryl's which always left me feeling less than adequate and frustrated with myself.

In my comparison, I neglected to include important information such as the fact that I was new to coaching and Cheryl had been at it for several years, and that she had once been a new coach who had not started out as polished as she had become after years of experience. I only saw my shortcomings in comparison to her brilliance. Once I decided to stop the self sabotage and quit comparing myself to Cheryl, I was able to relax and coach with confidence. Without the pressure that I had created to "be like Cheryl," I was able to be my best which was more than enough.

What needs to go on your "not-to-do" list in order to reach your goals for 2007? Maybe you are like I was and need to stop comparing yourself to someone else? Or, do you need to stop scheduling too many activities? Stop trying to do everything on your own without asking for help? Stop trying to be perfect? What will you put on your "not-to-do" list so that you can achieve success this year?

Ideas for your "not-to-do" list

1. Stop comparing your worst to someone else's best. Comparing yourself to someone else is a recipe for disappointment. It is especially frustrating when you try to size up your performance, or your appearance, or some other quality to a super model, an Olympic athlete or your brother or sister who always outshined you. Give yourself a break and appreciate that you are more than enough just as you are. It is better to be the best version of yourself than to torture yourself with unrealistic comparisons to others.

2. Stop waiting for someone else to make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. You are in charge of your life and of your happiness. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Decide that you will create your own happiness rather than expect it from someone or something else. Take responsibility for doing things that bring you joy.

3. Stop focusing on what you don't have. Rather than focus on not having enough time, enough money, enough energy or enough help, etc. focus on what you do have and be grateful that you have it. Watch your world begin to change in a positive way as you let go of limiting thoughts of what you don't have and express gratitude for what you do have.

"Self-sabotage is the worst deterrent to your best performance." Coach Pat Morgan

By: Coach Pat Morgan

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Pat Morgan, MBA and Executive Coach, helps clients maximize their potential in today’s fast-paced environment. Her unique coaching programs inspire clients to achieve goals they may never have thought possible. Her focus draws from the inside out – helping clients become the best version of themselves they can be. Get your free copy of my special report, GET RESULTS NOW! when you subscribe to my newsletter, Smooth Sailing Success. Visit www.SmoothSailingSuccess.com

This is not yet another article to give you advice or tell you what to do. Most people have a difficult time telling a five year old what to do let alone someone who has lived with an unwanted behavior for 5, 10, 15 or more years. This is an article about the basics of how to get the job done.

The mind is great at multitasking. This is why one can maintain several bad habits at once and this is why one can make several resolutions to replace those habits and accomplish them all. Before we get started with the top ten New Year Resolutions however one needs to understand some basic principals about the subconscious.

>From your very first breath everything you have seen, heard, smelled, tasted or felt is stored in the subconscious mind. The subconscious uses this information to determine how you emotionally respond to your world. This is what is referred to as your subconscious programming. You are continually subject to the random information of the subconscious if you do not know how it works.

This is why there is an endless supply of advice givers because no one has taken the time to address the single most important question for goal setting, New Year Resolutions or just simply a change in behavior and that is "What determines a human behavior?" A New Year Resolution or setting a goal is all about fixing something that does not work. This brings up another question "Can you fix anything if you do not know how it works?" The answer to this is an emphatic no. It is the equivalent of banging on the top of your radio or TV when it goes on the blink and suddenly it starts working. You say to yourself...I guess I fixed it. Does it make any sense to guess when speaking in terms of the quality of your life and what you need for it to work?

Once you have an answer to the question (What determines human behavior?) you will need information on how to act upon the answer but first let's take a look at the top ten New Year Resolutions slightly revised by a Master Life Coach.

1) Learn the Process of What Determines Human Behavior

The resolution of changing any behavior always begins with a question and the question here is, "What determines human behavior?You are guessing how to accomplish your New Year resolutions if you cannot answer this question. Without learning the process of what determines a behavior it is unlikely you will be able to permanently change any behavior so this question needs to be number one on your list.

2) Spend More Time with Family & Friends

Love is your most powerful emotional state and spending more time with people you love assists in solidifying this emotional state. If you underhand how an emotional state comes about you can maintain this powerful state in the absence of family and friends.

3) Health, Fitness and Weight Loss

Fifty-five percent of adults in America are overweight so this has become a popular New Year Resolution. Evidence of this is the packed Health Clubs in January. Weight Loss is almost a 40 billion dollar a year industry. Every year it is a rehash of the same old things and people continue to buy them. At some point you need to ask yourself if you have control over your eating behavior. If the answer is no or not really then it is time to get control of what is controlling you.

4) Quit Smoking

Smoking is more than just a habit it is a physiological addiction. This is why you must attack this problem from two fronts. There are a number of different ways to immediately address the physiological part of the equation but the behavior must be addressed at the same time in order to permanently kill the habit. When the habit is not addressed along with the physiological side of the problem more harm than good can be done. This happens when you continue to smoke while wearing a patch or using other pharmaceuticals to kill the addiction.

5) Enjoy Life More

This seems like it would be so simple but if you do not understand how an emotional state comes about this is easy to say but very difficult to accomplish.

6) Quit Drinking

While many people use the New Year as an incentive to finally stop drinking, most are not equipped with the skills in taking control of their subconscious. If you do not run the subconscious the subconscious is going to run you.

7) Get Out of Debt

Was money a big source of stress in your life last year? Out of control dept often means out of control emotionally. Over spending has a lot to do with trying to make yourself feel better. If you begin to understand how an emotional state comes about then you need not overspend to attempt to affect it.

8) Learn Something New

Challenge your mind in the coming year, and your horizons will expand. Especially if you are learning how the subconscious works and how to take control of it.

9) Help Others

This is a popular, non-selfish New Year resolution. As human beings our only real value is what we can do for other people.

10) Get Organized

Organization is the key to permanently maintaining a long New Year Resolution List but where do you start. You start by taking control of what allowed you to become disorganized to begin with and that is of course the supreme ruler in your life, the subconscious. Getting control of the clutter in the subconscious will bring about organization automatically in our lives.

The reason all New Year Resolutions gets down to the subconscious is because the subconscious runs approximately four times faster than you can speak and right now you have no idea what it is doing. The conscious and subconscious is like a rope tow with the vat of mud in the middle. The conscious is one person on one side against the subconscious which is four people on the other side. If consciously you say to yourself, I want to lose weight, quit smoking etc. it is usually a losing proposition because you are outnumbered with information. In other words if you do not understand how to take control of the subconscious you will almost always be out gunned by the subconscious.

Until you learn how to recognize access and change your subconscious programming your New Year Resolutions will probably always be carried over to the next year. The question before you make a New Year Resolution is "Do I want control over my New Year Resolutions?" If the answer to this question is yes then the first step is to get control of your subconscious.

About The Author

Kelly Burris

THE Burris Life Coach the only clinically proven process for depression and the foundation for THE Burris Life Coach for Adults and THE Burris Life Coach Ages 7-17. For more about Kelly and becoming a Certified Burris Life Coach please visit http://www.KellyBurris.com.

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