Blog for Self Improvement

As long you are not sure about your mission on earth, about the reason WHY you are here, about your main goal in life, you will feel like a ping-pong ball undergoing the commands of all your subpersonalities.

We all are a mix of different subpersonalities. These are different aspects of ourselves that take turns expressing themselves, and that may at times be contradictory. This split results in a sense of chaos and constitutes the most important hindrance keeping us from finding and implementing our mission. All of these subpersonalities are fighting for attention and keep us from focusing on what’s really important.

We have a lot of subpersonalities, parts of ourselves, that are able to linger around due to a fatal mistake, a wrong idea we have about ourselves and this world.

This is the main trait of our personality, the central misconception around which all the facets of our personality are orbiting like planets around the sun.

The fatal mistake, the central misconception is an idea that is fundamentally flawed, and that can never lead to the real goal of your life. Just like everybody else, you are battling your central misconception but you’re aiming too high or too low. This battle is extremely tiring, it can’t be won and you are being distracted from the goals that matter.

Take for example somebody with the following central misconception: « I always have to do everything by myself ». The subpersonalities revolving around this idea could be: the fearful who thinks she won’t be able to manage on her own; the accusing blaming everybody else; the complaining who goes on and on about how much she has to do in life without any support; the eternally fatigued crumbling under a load that is self-imposed; the diseased going from doctor to doctor hoping to find some miracle potion, and so on.

When you live in the illusion of being on top of your misconception, all of your “positive” subpersonalities will surface. You feel strong, happy, content, courageous, self-confident and so on.

But as soon as you’re starting to lose ground to your fatal mistake, all of the “negative” subpersonalities rear their ugly head. You feel down, irritated, aggressive, depressed and so on.

For most people, this is the very business of their life: to prove that they are right concerning their central misconception. They say: “I told you I always have to do everything by myself!” and then follows a long list of convincing “proof”.

Other possible fatal misconceptions:

q Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed.

q I am responsible for everything, and I have to make sure everything is under control.

q At their core, humans are bad and you always have to be on your guard.

q Living is a sad occupation, we are here to suffer.

q I will never be good enough, no matter what I do.

q I didn’t get the right education, and will always be less than another.

q I can’t do thing on my own, I need a husband/wife.

q I have to hurry, because there is never enough time.

q Nobody loves me.

q Nobody cares.

q I am worthless.

q Life is one big disappointment.

q I am not beautiful/handsome/smart enough.

q Without a partner I am abnormal.

q Without kids of my own I can never be happy.

q Life is a drag.

…

Here I invite you to write down the main misconception in your life, the fatal mistake around which all revolves. You can discover your main misconception by going back in time to moments of enormous stress, where you felt completely deserted, did not know what to do anymore, were totally exhausted or raging mad. What’s that little sentence that comes up in those extreme moments? It’s always the same little sentence.

As long as your life is about this idea, you are on the wrong track and you will only exhaust yourself. This sentence represents a major misconception and it is a big bolder on your personal path.

This is a very uncomfortable, senseless and sickening way to live.

To escape from this prison, one needs to change course and focus on what really counts: your own personal specific reason of existence!

Let your life revolve around what it is that you have on offer for this world, and not around how sad and unfair life is treating you!

Be involved in re-dis-covering your spiritual core, your true nature. This is a way of life that will bring you joy, love, health and satisfaction!

You need to replace this misconception by another sentence that expresses your true, your Divine Nature, like : “I am a Child of God”, “I am already perfect als I am”, “There is enough love for me in the world, I feel loved and I can give Love”, “Life is wonderful”, “I am a Light Person ment to spread Light around me”, “I am loved and there is as much help as I need”, and so on.

As it becomes clear who you really are, and the more you occupy yourself with what really matters, the more the central misconception in your life will lose its hold on you. You are so much more than just a collection of subpersonalities. Before you started playing these roles, you were already your own person. You are more capable and brilliant than you think. The truth about yourself is to be emphasized.

Everytime your misconception pops up in your head (usual under stress, pressure or fear), change it immediately by the truth about yourself!

By: Ineke Van Lint

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Ineke Van Lint, psychologist, is a spiritual and educational coach and an expert in enthusiasm. She’ll guide you to find out who is the real you and how you can achieve happiness and success. Grab your free e-course and free inspirational quotes at www.theenthusiasm.com

So many people are complaining about the lack of love in their life. They act as if some stranger decided one day to take away the love out of their lives. They hold on to lovers already gone since eternity, or they dream about a partner coming into their life to give them everything they are not able to give themselves. They balance between hope and desperation. They look for love outside themselves and believe one day a charming prince on a white horse will knock at the door and take them away to live for ever happy in a castle for away from reality.

Other people are trying to survive in a bad relationship that holds their greatness hostage. They live in fear and anger every day but don’t know how to get out of this prison.

Do you know such people? Does this sound like you? Do you feel lonely, are you dreaming of the right one who will show up one day and end all the misery you’re going through now?

The bad news is this will not happen.

The good news is YOU can do a lot yourself to feel loved.

Let me explain.

Life is like a building. There are a lot of floors : the ground floor, the cellar, the first floor, second floor and so on. The higher you go in the building, the more light there is, the easier and lighter things are, the more friendly and energetic people are, the higher are the vibrations and most of all : the more love there is.

Picture this building of life in your mental eye. In the cellar you will find people like rapers, thiefs, harassers, killers, people who beat their children or companion and others who made a life out of hurting others.
On the groundfloor you will find a lot of people. In fact most of humanity lives here. These are the ones who content themselves by vegetating instead of living. They don’t think by themselves, they undergo life. They do nothing. They live like robots. They go to their job every day, come home every day, watch the same television program every day with a beer in one hand and a hotdog in the other hand. They do not dream. They are stuck in their lifestyle and think everything will always be the same.

Then you go up. As I said, the higher you get, the easier, the lighter life is. Life IS easy, life IS light. The cellar, groundfloor and lower floors are creations from the human mind. We created these lifestyles by our heavy thoughts, thoughts about scarcity, fear, death, anger, sadness, revenge and so on. Here are the lives of those who choose to think low energy thoughts. Those who live in fear, hate, jealousy, doubts, low self esteem, troubles. Those have bad relationships, where struggle and anger and negativity set the tone. They are not happy. They maintain the illusion everything is someone else’s fault and they have either to wait for the other to change, so their life will change, or they have to destroy the other one to have a better life (think of the one who kills the husband of the woman he wants to live with, or those who kill other minded people in order to be free to live like they want). This will never give freedom or love.

So what to do if you want to move up in that building of life and live free and in love?

First you have to make a decision. Yes, you have to decide WHERE you want to be. On which floor do you want to live your life now?

Is it the cellar? No, I don’t think so. Is is the groundfloor? I don’t think it either. Let’s say you want to be at the 17th floor. But you feel you are at this moment in your life at the 3rd floor only. You hate your job, you have a lousy relationship with your partner, you’re in bad shape and your energy is low.
So you decided you wanted a life in the vibration of the 17th floor, where there is love, real friendship, positive expectations, inner strength, power, a job you like, health and wealth.

What to do? You decided where you want to be. What you will do now? Should you wait until someone will knock on your door to take you there? No way! Will never happen! Even if you would meet someone with an energy level of 17, he will never carry you from the 3rd to the 17th floor, because he will be exhausted. It needs to be YOUR decision and YOUR action!!

So YOU have to move yourself up. How? Read! Read more! Read how you can create your life by changing your thoughts and your behavior! Go to workshops where you can learn how to unleash you inner power. Use the wonderful information bank which is called Internet and which offers you a bunch of positive information and e-courses (often for free). Surround you with loving people. Learn how to love yourself.
So first you decide where you want to be. Than you do whatever you can to get there, on your own. You may ask help of course, you may find yourself a coach (which is really a good decision!) but don’t look for somebody to carry you. You will fall down immediately the moment he puts you down. If you didn’t get there by yourself, it won’t last, it is not worth anything because you moved yourself up with somebody else’s energy and you are depending on his energy.

Once you get at the floor of your choice, let’s say 17, you will meet automatically people who vibrate at this level of energy. Energy-17 people. Loving, caring, wonderful people. People who feel good about themselves and who don’t need others to steal their energy. They learned how to generate energy by themselves. They are not slaves. They are not dominators. They love and respect others.

Do you want to meet someone like that? Do you want to share your life with somebody who has a 17-energy (or more)? Go there! Go at their level and you will meet them, that’s a guarantee!

Move yourself up.

If you live in a bad relationship right now, and you do whatever you can to get yourself moving higher, you will see what will happen. Your partner, who is still vibrating on energy 3 or 2 or on cellar-level won’t be able to follow you and you will take separate roads.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to pull someone up who wants to stay at his low level. You will never succeed. Especially women should be aware of this : don’t spoil your energy at trying to get others moving up with you. It’s a waste of time. Everybody should decide for himself. Don’t carry others on your back, you will crack down! Decide for yourself, go for it, and see what happens. The higher you get in energy-levels, the better it will be. There you will agree with me : life is wonderful!

Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com

About the Author:

Written by Ineke Van Lint, psychologist. You are a unique, wonderful person! Find out why in the two free e-courses on www.theenthusiasm.com. Find your purpose and realize your goals. Be a success!

By: Steve Brunkhorst

There is a story about a little girl who suffered from a serious disease. Her best chance of recovery would be to receive a blood transfusion from her five-year old brother.

The doctor explained the situation to the little brother. He asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

The young boy hesitated for a brief moment. Then he took a deep breath and said, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save my sister's life."

During the transfusion, the boy lay in the bed next to his sister. He smiled when he saw color returning to her cheeks. Then his smile started to fade, and his face grew pale.

With a trembling voice, he looked up at the doctor and asked, "Will I start to die now already?"

The little boy had misunderstood the doctor's explanation. He thought that he would need to give all of his blood to save his sister, and he would have done so.

Moving from Resolution to Commitment

The realization of our goals, dreams, and deepest desires depends greatly on commitment, stepping from the familiar into the new. It requires putting our faith on the line to honor our purpose, our personal contract with life. We make resolutions and carry them with us until we commit firmly. Once we commit and begin taking the necessary actions, resolutions become unnecessary.

Without commitment, we remain chained to resolutions and visions, living perpetually beyond the present moment. Though we need to envision with gratitude our goals and their attainment, it is now we must take action. Only in the present moment will we realize the soul's tremendous courage to follow our own true north -- to manifest the reason we are alive.

The Courage to Serve

Rollo May wrote, "The acorn becomes an oak by means of automatic growth; no commitment is necessary...But a man or woman becomes fully human only by his or her choices and his or her commitment to them. People attain worth and dignity by the multitude of decisions they make from day to day. These decisions require courage."

Commitment is the beginning of service to others. Making a commitment often requires that we release fear. We need to look clearly at things we would rather not see or accept. I believe courage arises ultimately from love. The courage to serve is inspired by the faith to serve not only the self but also all of humankind.

In the words of Henry van Dyke (1852-1933), "Faith is an adventure; it is the courage of the soul to face the unknown. But that courage springs from the hope and confidence of the soul that its adventure will succeed." Faith and commitments to service can inspire the hope and confidence in each other that our human family needs.

An Outpouring of Love and Compassion

Today, we are witnessing a tremendous outpouring of love and compassion for those in Asia who have endured unimaginable, heartbreaking devastation and loss. Tears flow and prayers are spoken for people we have never met.

Commitments to service and selfless acts of love are taking place globally on an unprecedented scale. Even in extreme tragedy, our "courage of the soul" that Henry van Dyke mentioned flourishes around the globe as many nationalities join together to help those in need.

At a human level, we do not understand why we must suffer. We cannot remove the pain or reunite all of the grieving families. Only God will do that. However, our commitments can make life-changing differences.

Commitments that Make a Difference

We must first be acutely aware that we are not guaranteed the next ten minutes on this earth. We can grow in appreciation for the sanctity of life and realize how capable we are of reaching out with empathy and authentic compassion.

We can also commit to honor the worth and dignity of all fellow humans, serving and supporting them in times of need. All of us can serve -- if not with donations, with acts of kindness and prayer. It is a choice we must make for the future of our planet. It is a commitment to serve and be responsible for the welfare of each other.

Article Source: http://www.articlecube.com

© Copyright 2005 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting www.AchieveEzine.com

In my experience as a counselor for 40 years, I have found that love addiction and approval addiction are far more prevalent than any other substance or process addictions. We live in a love-addicted, approval-addicted society.

What does it mean to be love/approval addicted? Below is a checklist for you to see if you are addicted to love and/or approval. Believing any of these may indicate love or approval addiction.

I believe that:

* My happiness and wellbeing are depended upon getting love from another person.

* My adequacy, lovability, and feelings of self-worth and self-esteem come from others liking me and approving of me.

* Others disapproval or rejection mean that I’m not good enough.

* I can’t make myself happy.

* I can’t make myself as happy as someone else can.

* My best feelings come from outside myself, from how other people or a particular other person sees me and treats me.

* Others are responsible for my feelings. Therefore, if someone cares about me, he or she will never do anything that hurts or upsets me.

* I can’t be alone. I feel like I’ll die if I’m alone.

* When I’m hurt or upset, it’s someone else’s fault.

* It’s up to other people to make me feel good about myself by approving of me.

* I’m not responsible for my feelings. Other people make me feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, shut down, or depressed. When I’m angry, someone makes me feel that way and is responsible for fixing my feelings.

* I’m not responsible for my behavior. Other people make me yell, act crazy, get sick, laugh, cry, get violent, leave, or fail.

* Others are selfish if they do what they want instead of what I want or need.

* If I’m not connected to someone, I will die.

* I can’t handle my pain, especially the pain of disapproval, rejection, abandonment, the pain of being shut out - the pain of isolation and loneliness.

Living as a love or approval addict is a very hard way to live. You have to constantly make sure you say the right thing, do the right, and look right in order to get the needed love and approval. Your feelings are on a roller coaster – from feeling the wonderful feelings that come from getting your love or approval “fix” to feeling the despair that comes when your “supply” – the source of your love and approval - shuts down, gets angry or judgmental, or goes away.

THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OF LOVE AND APPROVAL ADDICTION

Love and approval addiction is rooted in self-abandonment. Imagine the feeling part of you as a child – your inner child. When you are love or approval addicted, you have handed your inner child away for adoption. Instead of learning to take responsibility for your own happiness by loving and approving of yourself, you have handed your inner child away to others for love and approval – making others responsible for your feelings. This inner self-abandonment will always cause the deep pain of low self-worth, making you dependent upon others for your sense of worth.

The sad thing about all of this is that love is the most abundant thing in the universe. We live in a sea of love – it is always within us and all around us. It is our Source. When you learn to open to Spirit/God/Source, you become filled with love, with peace, with joy. The empty place within that yearns to be filled becomes so filled with love that it overflows to others. You find yourself desiring to give love rather than always trying to get it.

As long as you make others your Source, you will not find the love, peace and joy that you seek. By learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach, you can learn to fill yourself with love and heal your love and approval addictions.Are you love or approval addicted? Most people are. The following checklist will help you to determine your level of love or approval addiction.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.