Blog for Self Improvement

Building Self Esteem can be a challenge. In my experience of conducting stress management programs and counseling for over 20 years, I found that roughly 99% of those I've worked with felt that they needed to improve self esteem. How could this be?

It's because most of us have been taught to base our self-worth on our accomplishments, skills, physique, financial worth and earnings, ability to help others… Little wonder then when we:

• lose skills because of injury;

• lose a close family member on whom we're very dependent;

• lose our financial nest egg because the stock market collapses;

• do poorly in a course of study;

• have a bad hair day; or

• don't live up to our own expectations...

we don't feel good about ourselves and our self esteem and self confidence are challenged. Ultimately, this may:
• jeopardize our health;

• jeopardize our emotional well being;

• set us up for failure mechanisms;

• have us constantly trying to impress others;

• lead to an identity crisis;

• contribute to suicide;

• cause chronic depression…

Why is it when there are so many programs available for building self esteem and building confidence that is there a tremendous shortage of those who have self esteem?

The answer is that if you analyze most programs, trainings, and techniques for building self esteem, you'll see that they actually create the path to easily put your self esteem self confidence in jeopardy with the first calamity that comes along in your life.

Five things you might want to know about building self esteem.

1. Many programs focus on having you to:

• Acquire skills.

• Accomplish achievements.

• Change you physical appearance.

• Develop a talent.

• Obtain additional education…

Building self esteem on something you can acquire can set you up for a big let down, life crisis, anxiety panic attack, and loss of self esteem because these things are not the essence of you but superficial. While you certainly will accomplish many things, when you build self worth the right way, you will never be at risk of losing your self esteem. While talents, skills, accomplishments and so on may come and go, you want your self esteem to be impenetrable.

2. Many programs emphasize affirmations. While affirmations are important, they can also be rejected or ineffective. One method of determining acceptance of a specific affirmation is through the use of a pendulum. It's simply to ask your subconscious mind if the affirmation is accepted or rejected while holding the pendulum over a chart with directions for "Yes" and "No." Sometimes it's simply a matter of rephrasing the affirmation.

3. Evaluate goal setting. Yes, many programs use the approach of setting and achieving goals to build self worth. While it's ok to have and achieve goals, goals in themselves can be a catch 22 in building self worth. Should you fall short of a particular goal, your self esteem is in jeopardy. While you may have and achieve many goals, your self esteem should not be dependent on them for life is more often about dealing with the plans that fall through than it is about making plans.

4. Many programs only educate the thinking conscious mind. This approach could take forever. The limbic (emotional brain) lags behind the reticular (thinking cognitive brain). When you choose a program, make sure that the program nurtures the emotional brain otherwise, the thinking brain gets smarter and you get simply frustrated because you just can't seem to put the material into action. The Program you use should have techniques to bring the emotional brain up to date to agree with the new information the thinking brain is receiving.

5. Few programs utilize the power of hypnosis and subliminal suggestions and those that do, may not tell you what the actual suggestions are and what's worse the suggestions may be counter productive. For instance, many use a suggestion such as, "I am not going to feel badly anymore." Because of how the brain processes words, this suggestion focuses on feeling badly and is therefore counter productive. Or they may use a complex suggestion which is useless because the subconscious doesn't process complex suggestions. Choose a program that utilizes hypnosis and make sure the program informs you of the specific subliminal suggestions.

For improving self esteem or building self esteem, it's important to observe (not criticize) the sources of your role models' self esteem. It's important to also observe (not criticize) where your self esteem has come from in the past, i.e. what makes you feel good about you and what you need to feel good about yourself. Thus you'll understand the psychology of self worth and the causes of low self esteem.

The next step in restoring self esteem and beating low self esteem is to meet your own best friend--you. It typical that we often think we are our own worst enemy. The fact is that you can be your own best friend.

Now, how do you handle emotions? I mean feelings of anger, uncertainty, confusion, frustration...? Self criticism in the past may have eroded your self esteem self confidence. You want to use negative emotional experiences to empower you in building self esteem through your experience of any emotion that life can throw your way.

Acknowledge your disappointments and your emotional reactions. Move through the emotional charge and use directional preference statements. Tell yourself that you want to:

• learn from the mistake.

• see the situation in from a different perspective.

• forget about it.

And that even though you may be unhappy, you still like yourself.

This is your formula for improving self esteem on a daily basis.

Source: http://www.articlecube.com

Richard Kuhns B.S.Ch.E., NGH certified provides the most effective method in building self worth. He is a is a prominent figure in the field of stress  management and personal change. He is the author behind the best selling self hypnosis cds and developed a new approach overcoming agoraphobia.

In the past, the need for research has not been something that was needed. Now that stress has been shown to help bring about diseases, it is more important. These studies have brought some ideas and programs that will help to reduce stress.

What is the big deal about stress and controlling it? Studies show that stress is one of the major causes of illnesses and diseases. It is not the main reason for the disease or illness but it gives you a feeling of being sick and this in turn gives you a more susceptible attitude for being sick.

Some of the ideas and programs for controlling stress do not help. There are many that do give someone who is dealing with stress some relief.

Listed below are some of the more effective ways to control. You may find that some of them are common to you.

Admitting You Have Emotions

When the nervous system reacts it is called stress. Anyone who has done investigations into stress will find that you have the desire to run away from it or to stay and fight it. The stress by itself is not the danger, it is the energy that is not eliminated from the body. This energy will wear the body down after a long period of time if not gotten rid of. The best thing for you to do is to start by showing emotion. If you see something funny, laugh out loud. This will get rid of some of that energy. If you are mad, then allow yourself to be mad. It is not healthy to hold it inside.

Starting some sort of exercise routine will help to send the energy into the right places. If you are mad, the gym may be a good place for you to go and take it out on a punching bag. The body will be ready to fight when you are mad, boxing is great for relieving this stress.

Take Over The Madness

It is important for you to be able to allow your emotions to come out. The bad emotions like being mad should be controlled. A good attitude and patience will help you gain control and stop the stress or at least reduce it. If you are able to take a hold on your anger, the need to fight or to run will not occur.

Taking Control Of Your Time Reduces Stress

One of the oldest ways to reduce your stress level is to take control of your time. This is a part of stress that is known as business stress. This type of stress is caused by the amount of time we are losing to something else. When you take control of your time and begin to be the boss of it, the stress will be lowered.

Be Happy With Your Life

When you are feeling happy, this will be the best for you. Being happy is all in your mind. You need to start thinking in this way and you will become happier. What is it that will bring about your happiness at this moment? If you mind is telling you that you would like to watch a movie then make arrangements to watch the movie. Think positive and bring along a friend to enjoy it with you.

By: Wade Robins

Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

You can also find more info on Stress Management Program and Stress Management Techniques. Sressmanagementmethods.com is a comprehensive resource to known about stress management.

Anger is the most difficult and challenging feeling. Anger can propel us to pursue change, or energize us in the pursuit of change. However, too often our anger is allowed to run amuck, thus creating havoc in our lives vis-à-vis the unresolved angry feelings.

Everyone has anger about issues and experiences, some more than others, occasionally, or for some frequently. When anger is left unprocessed with no outlet it morphs into resentment. Resentment carries with it the propensity of creating self-sabotage and great turmoil. When you are in resentment you assign blame for the pain you are feeling—thus easing the pain—albeit superficial and temporary. Some people relentlessly stoke the smoldering embers of resentment just below the surface of their awareness, eroding their peace of mind and causing rifts in relationships.

The target of your resentment grows ever more diabolical in your mind and you rue the day you first encountered the experience, which you perceive to be to blame. Resentment is nothing more than another hue on the emotional spectrum and therefore within the realm of our conscious control. You can choose to let go of your resentment and enjoy your experiences going forward, no matter how painful the event that instigated it.

Holding onto anger/resentment serves only to have more pain. Successfully processing the experience to let go of the anger/resentment can be difficult. Processing the anger compels us to mentally and emotionally confront the original source of anger. When we cease assigning blame, we realize that our need to hold someone or something responsible for our feelings has harmed us.

We think that assigning blame we are resolving it, but in fact we are holding onto the hurt with a fierce self-sabotaging grip. To release resentment, we need to shift our attention from those we resent back toward ourselves by thinking of our needs.

Some people find performing a ceremony helps quell resentful feelings by giving tangible form to their emotions. You may want to write down your feelings and then burn the paper and close your ceremony by wishing those who harmed you well—allowing yourself to forgive. See Forgiveness—A Misunderstood Concept.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Forgiveness-A-Misunderstood-Concept&id=334829

When you can find compassion in your heart, you are on your way to healing. Resentment free, you have more energy and attention to devote to your life and work. You can fill the spaces the anger/resentment occupied with unconditional acceptance and joy. As a result of your freedom from resentment, blessings can enter your life.

It is usually fairly easy to access a past event, for some, it is quite difficult to allow oneself to feel and express the various emotions which were originally felt and suppressed because to feel the feelings without adequate process is too painful. Unfortunately, processing events with loaded emotions is seldom done adequately. And yet, even now, unless this is done, healing will only become a partial achievement without a complete resolution of the issues involved—with continued negative impact consciously and unconsciously.

With the benefit of hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) these five aspects of Ego programming can be eliminated. Once the Ego program is eliminated at the core, you can keep your ego balanced in all five aspects by keeping your energy and focus on; who you truly are.

Hypnosis is a dynamic and vital healing process embracing all aspects health care. Hypnosis is client-centered with its focus on the discovery of the origin of a person’s issues. Through the process of hypnosis/regression the unconscious mind goes to the original cause, which then gives the person and practitioner the opportunity to process the original feelings surrounding the original experience/cause. These surrounding feelings can be healed, thus empowering the person to live the life they want to live.

This study confirms—Hypnosis is more effective and works more quickly than traditional talk-therapy or psychoanalysis. In a hypnotic state, you are more receptive to new ideas and you can more effectively process the emotions linked to the experiences, which created pain, fear, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, humiliation and low self-esteem.

Through Hypnosis you connect with your subconscious mind, which puts YOU in control of your subconscious mind—the most powerful and empowering aspect of your brain.

American Health Magazine reported these findings from a comparison study.

• Psychoanalysis: Creates a 38% recovery after 600 sessions

• Behavior Therapy: Creates a 72% recovery after 22 sessions

• Hypnosis: Creates a 93% recovery after 6 sessions

NLP uses a set of strategies, axioms and beliefs about human communication, perception and subjective experience. The core principle is that an individual's thoughts, gestures and words interact to create your perception of the world. By changing your outlook, using a variety of techniques, a person can improve their attitudes and behavior.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings.

http://www.drdorothy.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Many an article and product has appeared about freeing you from stress. Concepts such as anxiety, exhaustion, frustration, distress, tension, mourning, fear, etc… were soon brought under this one word. As a result a clear analysis of the stress phenomena was not possible. Psychoanalytic and neuro-analysis give more insights into stress symptoms. Psychological stress response show the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the release of stress hormones like adrenalin/epinephrine and cortisol. This sheds more light on the cause and effects of stress

How do we define stress with the many concepts added to it? Stress has over the years gained a definition of a state in which the demands on physical or mental energy is excess. This adversely disturbs the physical or mental health of an individual. Medical terminology determines it as a perturbation of the body’s homeostasis.

Modern folklore of stress is spawning an industry of popular psychology, self-help, and personal counseling material. This is largely due to the nature of our lifestyle. Our modern lifestyle tends to cause continual sympathetic nervous system activation. This is a disturbance in the balance; parasympathetic nervous system also needs to activate. This allows bowel movements, non-muscles organs pupils, and glands the necessary blood flow and functional requirements. Poor healing, organ functions and digestion is the cause for various other ailments.

In this urban culture everyone suffers from stress. Causes are relationship demands, pressure at work places, traffic snarls, growing up tensions and varied other situations. It is vital for some parasympathetic action in our bodies. We need to take time out from our modern lifestyles. We need to give our bodies some rest. It is accumulated stress that causes acute and chronic psychosomatic illness.

Each person has their own method to manage stress. Some go for relaxation through exercises, massage, deep breathing, meditation, soothing music, visualization and other alternative methods. Personal growth and counseling has shown that we can manage stress to our advantage. If you need motivation; psyching up is an effective stress arousal technique to handle the job

How to tackle stress?

The psychological consequences of exposure to stressful experiences may be quite traumatic. A psychologically weak person may have post traumatic stress disorder. For normal person handing stress is important as well.

• Anticipate stressful events and plan to cope or avoid them.

• Do not give over importance to an event. Reducing its importance can help in proper focus on goals.

• Reduce stress by imagining a peaceful scene. Practicing deep breathing simultaneously can help.

• Awareness of your thought could help you channel it toward rational and positive thinking.

• Self hypnosis is easy and helps you in controlling the inputs into your mind.

• Physical exercise has a lot of benefits; improved blood flow, better functioning of organs, enhanced sleep and a sense of well being.

 • Time management also is an important concept in reducing stress. Avoid distractions and use your time effectively.
• Attitudinal changes can be brought about by looking to see if others are faced with a situation like yours. The responses that the situation deems necessary could be taken by rationalizing the attitude you have.
• Change is essential. Your adaptation to a situation could lead you to be in control and not controlled.
• Natural and artificial stimulants are not the only way out of stress. Be aware of the function and effects of caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, sugar etc.

• Factors like air quality, lighting, cleanliness, noise, etc… can intrude into your personal space and trigger of stressful reactions. Remodel the environment around you for a relaxing mood.

Stress in moderation is necessary as it increases our performance. Getting over stressed is the danger.  stressfoucs.com defines stress and deals with stress related issues. Stress symptoms, post traumatic stress, etc…. Sufficient knowledge of stress can help you take on stress more effectively.

About the Author: stressfoucs.com defines stress and deals with stress related issues. Stress symptoms, post traumatic stress, etc…. Sufficient knowledge of stress can help you take on stress more effectively.

Source: http://www.easyarticles.com

Too much stress? You need a simple stress meditation. Of course, learning to meditate might intimidate you, and it's tough to find the time for daily meditation. A solution to both problems is a meditation you can learn right now, that will take a minute to do each day.

An Easy Stress Meditation

When you breath through your mouth, it expands your chest. Breath through your nose and you'll notice how your abdomen extends. Nose-breathing causes the diaphram to pull air to the bottom of your lungs. This delivers a good dose of oxygen into your bloodstream and brain, and it also tends to relax you. Breathing through your nose is healthier, and it's the basis of this one-minute meditation.

Here's how you do it. Close your eyes, sigh, and let the tension go out of your muscles. It may help to tense up your muscles first, then release that tension. Then let go of your thoughts, as much as possible, and take four or five slow, deep breaths through your nose, paying attention to your breathing.

Can Meditation Be This Easy?

The short answer is yes. No, you're not likely to get you into a deep meditative state with this simple stess meditation. However, you will get benefits, including a clearer mind and a reduction in stress.

It helps to develop a "trigger" for your meditation. For example, do your four breaths when you get into the car, or right after lunch each day. These triggers are places or times that remind you, so your meditation becomes a habit.

You can say this isn't "real" meditation, but there's nothing wrong with enjoying the relaxation you'll get from this technique. If you want, you can always pursue deeper meditation later. Meanwhile, remember that not everything has to be difficult to be of value. Why not try this easy one-minute stress meditation?

About the Author: Steve Gillman writes on many topics including brainpower, weight loss, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. Learn more and get FREE e-courses at http://www.SelfImprovementNow.com

Source: www.easyarticles.com

Stress and anxiety put people in the hospital every day. It may not be common to go to the doctor to say "I think I have stress," but the National Institutes of Health say that 80% of illnesses are caused by stress, directly or indirectly.

Powerful hormones, including adrenalin, are released into your blood when you're stressed and anxious. They cause a rise in blood pressure, a faster heart and breathing rate, and faster conversion of glycogen into glucose. These are all good things if you need to escape a charging grizzly bear. Unfortunately, when these effects are prolonged, as they often are in modern life, the immune system is depressed, and the body suffers other negative changes.

Some of the common negative effects of prolonged stress include fatigue, pain in the muscles and joints, depression, anxiety, headache, mental confusion, and irritability. These stress reactions cause your body to use too much energy, which can eventuaLLY result in physical and mental weakness.

Stress And Anxiety Relief

At Stanford University, an analysis of 146 meditation studies was done. The conclusion was that meditation was not only beneficial at the time of practice, but that it significantly reduced anxiety as a character trait. Most of the studies focused on transcendental meditation, but it's probable most methods have similar results. (Reported in the Journal of Clinical Psychology 45: 957­974, 1989.)

In other words, meditation really can help you defend yourself against stress and anxiety. Deeper meditation probably has the most beneficial effects, but what if you're short on time, or uncertain about learning to meditate? No worries. There are two simple techniques you can learn in a few minutes, and start using today.

First, there is a breathing meditation. It starts with just closing your eyes, and letting the tension drain from your muscles. Then let go of your thoughts, as much as you can, and breath deeply through your nose, paying attention to your breath. When thoughts and sensations arise, acknowledge them and return your attention to your breath as it goes in and out. That's it. Just do this for five or ten minutes.

The second technique is a mindfulness meditation. When you are feeeling stress and anxiety, stop whatever you're doing, and take three deep breaths. Then watch your mind until you identify what is bothering you. Maybe you're worried about something? There could be a letter you need to write, or your neck could be sore. Try to identify every little irritation.

Then do something with these stressors. Make a call that's on your mind, take an aspirin, put things on tomorrow's list. Maybe the best you can do is recognise that there's nothing you can do right now - so do that. Take care of each irritation, so you can let it go. Your anxiety will diminish immediately.

Practice, and you'll get better at finding what's just below the surface of consciousness, bothering you. Once you address these things, close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and you'll feel more relaxed and able to think clearly. Try it now. It's a powerful way to reduce your stress and anxiety.

Source: www.easyarticles.com

About the Author: Steve Gillman has meditated and studied meditation for over twenty years. You can find a good mindfulness exercise and subscribe to The Meditation Newsletter at: http://www.TheMeditationSite.com

Is stress a factor in your life? Did you know that nine out of ten people say they experience high levels of stress several times a week? And one out of four of us have high stress levels every day.

What you may not know is that your stress may be impacting your health. Chronic stress weakens the body's physiological systems and leads to innumerable health problems. In fact, 70 to 80 percent of all disease and illness is stress related.

Major stress related health problems include:

- coronary heart disease
- cancer
- the common cold
- migraine headaches
- warts
- some cases of female infertility
- ulcers
- insomnia
- hypertension

Over $400 billion dollars a year is spent on stress related diseases. What if I told you that you don't need to spend huge amounts of money trying to relax? No, I'm not going to tell you that you need a vacation. Even going on vacation doesn't necessarily help alleviate stress. According to Anderson Consulting, 80% of people who took vacations in 2000 stayed in touch with the office by taking their laptop or cell phone with them.

There are several indicators you can use to determine if you suffer from chronic stress. Warning signs of chronic stress include headaches, teeth-grinding, back pain (especially in the shoulders or neck), anxiety, and insomnia.

The first step in dealing with stress is to examine the factors that create it. What are the responsibilities of your job? High levels of responsibility, noise, overcrowded conditions, and interpersonal problems can all create stress.

Chronic stress is not hopeless, and you don't necessarily need the help of a professional. Some of the most effective stress management techniques include relaxation exercises, meditation, or taking a short nap. If you are at work and need to reduce stress, try deep (abdominal) breathing, taking a short break, or talking to a friend or co-worker.

Planning for contingencies (having a "plan B"), effective time management, and delegation of responsibility can all help reduce stress.

Ultimately, virtually every job is somewhat stressful. Through identifying and effectively managing stress, you can reduce its negative effects and enjoy a healthier life.

About the Author: Would you like to know three ways to succeed at making healthy changes in your life? Hint: they aren't a ton of money, gargantuan willpower, or a celebrity trainer... Download this free 14-page report "Introduction to Self Improvement" and get the scoop: www.7affiliatecentral.com/health-report.html